I Hope They Were Renting

Every year I am astounded by some of the shows and movies that make it all the way to production. I mean if I, someone who knows very little about what goes into network programming decisions, can tell immediately that a show is going to suck and be cancelled, then how come people whose job it is to run these multi-billion dollar corporations can't? Seriously, some of them are really obvious: I knew the Jay Leno/Conan O'Brien experiment was doomed to fail, just like I was certain the new "Conan the Barbarian" remake was going to be a giant pile of crap. Yet, they still somehow got made, even though they should have died in the first meeting. It vexes me.

Therefore, when I saw that NBC's show "The Playboy Club" was cancelled today after just 3 episodes, I was far from surprised. It was trying to be "Mad Men", but it failed. Frankly, it didn't have a real chance. You can't take a show that works on cable, strip away all the aspects that make it necessary for the show to be on cable (in other words, all the good parts) in an effort to make it safe for public consumption and then be shocked when people aren't as receptive to it. Not to mention, while "Mad Men" is a critical darling it doesn't exactly spike the ratings needle. If it had originally aired on NBC it would have lasted just as long as "The Playboy Club." It was a bad recipe from the start.

Still, that won't be the only TV show from this year's crop that doesn't live to see a second season. I hate to judge shows based solely on their pilots, because that is often the hardest episode of a show to write. You're trying to introduce characters, places, situations and backstories while also moving a story forward without it reading like a fact sheet. It's really hard to do. For example, I hate "Justified" after the pilot. Thought it was a bad show and wouldn't last the year. Now it may be my favorite show on television. That is why I gave everything a couple of week before I decided to write about which shows should be axed (at least of the ones I have seen). Here are my picks for next to go, in no particular order.

-Last Man Standing. Alright, technically this hasn't aired yet. But, I'm calling this one based on the ad campaign, which features Tim Allen yelling into the screen about how men are no longer men because they play things like fantasy football. First off, congratulations on cornering the 65+ demographic. Secondly, are there any metrosexual jokes you want to make since we're apparently still acting as though the calendar reads 2005? Do you know what makes guys hate other guys? When they yell at us and try to tell us what to do and how to live. The star of "Santa Clause 1-3" is trying to tell me what constitutes tough? Not only do I now think this show is going to fail, I want it to.

-Charlie's Angels. Don't know anyone who watches this. Don't know anyone who plans to. Much like the "Conan the Barbarian" remake, this was clearly green-lit by someone who holds the original in much higher regards than the rest of society. It's yet another Hollywood remake no one asked for, which didn't need to be done and is now being ignored. It won't be around very long.

-How to be a Gentleman. See, "Last Man Standing."

-Suburgatory. This might be a great show, but it has the worst name I've ever heard. Seriously, I asked three people how this is pronounced and got three different answers. You can't succeed by word of mouth if no one's mouth says the title correctly.

-Pan-Am Not only does it have the same "Mad Men"-wannabe problem that "The Playboy Club" faced, I am firmly convinced that the heavier a show is advertised, the more it is ultimately going to stink. I haven't been able to watch anything on ABC without having promos for this show pounded into my brain, which tells me it isn't long for this world.