Loudly Saying Nothing

I can remember sitting in the stands during Celtic's Opening Night following the NBA lockout of 1998 when midway through the third quarter the two teams lined up for some foul shots. At that point a man who was seated courtside took a few steps onto the floor and threw a wad of money at the players. (I wasn't close enough to see the denominations, but given that no one dove for the cash I recall joking they had to be small bills.) I can only assume he was trying to send the players some kind of message about how money was ruining sports or something. Given that he was sitting courtside, I can also safely assume he couldn't hate money too much as he obvious had enough of it to afford really good seats to sporting events. Anyway, the man was quickly escorted away by security, probably very proud of the big political statement he just made. The game continued, the Celtics lost and my guess is that guy was put on a list barring him from buying tickets for several years. Given that the NBA is in the midst of another prolonged lockout it is a good bet the man's message was lost on the players and his showy gesture only ended up hurting himself.

So I was thinking about that guy yesterday when some random spectator at the Frys.com Open ran onto the 7th green as Tiger Woods was playing and threw a hot dog in his general direction. The hot dog never made it particularly close to Woods and the tosser quickly gave up, throwing himself to the ground before the marshalls even got there, which is wise considering Tiger travels with a private security force which rivals the ones assigned to protect the leaders of some third-world countries. A couple hours in jail is probably a better punishment when compared to a couple nights in the hospital. He was quickly taken away, probably feeling like he accomplished something, while the PGA went about its business of trying to scrub away all video of the incident from the Internet. (Good luck with that one.) In case you were wondering, Tiger then made the putt without any trouble. (Remember that next time he flips out because he heard a camera click. If you can deal with someone throwing food at you then you can deal with someone being fast on the shutter speed.)

I wish I could tell you what this guy was trying to accomplish with his stunt, but he never said what was on his mind. If he yelled a mission statement as he was dragged away it never made it on TV. You couldn't even guess his motivation by his clothing, as he was dressed like everyone who attends a golf event. There wasn't even so much as a gambling website logo written on his chest. Maybe he doesn't like that Tiger gets so much attention despite not being the same player anymore. Perhaps he resents that the media no longer talks about Woods' affairs and this was a statement about morality. It could have been some anti-Nike stance. He could have simply been trying to break Tiger's concentration or ruin his round. Then again, maybe he thought this would be the stepping stone to a life-long friendship and one day he and Woods would be sitting around, laughing about the crazy way they came into each other's lives. Or maybe he just hates hot dogs.

Whatever his message was, this was not the best way to convey it. I mean, if you're trying to show the world how much you dislike someone or what they stand for, acting like an idiot is not the way to do it. No one takes the crazy guy's side. In fact, all you're going to do is make the other person a sympathetic figure, as they are just trying to do their work and you are the one causing the disruption. This was a perfect example - the incident was all anyone was talking about today, completely overlooking the fact that Tiger still isn't play golf particularly well. If he wanted to make Tiger Woods uncomfortable the smarter thing would have been to leave him alone and watch as he had to answer question after question of why he can't make a putt anymore.

The most likely scenario is that this was nothing more than a look-at-me stunt. Now, on more than one occasion I have used this blog to talk about how much I hate it when athletes make showy, empty gestures such as saying they would rather retire than take a paycut. Well, that same disdain carries over to the general public when they do the same thing. If you just want to get on TV, try doing something worthy with your time. And if you are simply going to act like an idiot because you don't have any actual skills, at least let us know that there was no purpose behind it. I may not agree with your methods, but at least then I will know what your message is (and that it is you have no message). Because the only thing more annoying than being interrupted is being interrupted and not knowing why. All that being said, I still think the best thing for everyone is that spectators stay behind the ropes and hot dogs should be eaten, not thrown.