Precious Cargo

Over the weekend my family had a first birthday party for my nephew. Now, because he's the first boy to come along in a long while people went a little overboard with buying boy toys. After years and years of pink, princesses and butterflies it appears as though everyone was excited to show up with bulldozers and trucks. However, just because the gifts were a little heavy on the testosterone it doesn't mean the girls weren't interested in the new toys. Therefore, as often happens at a little kids birthday party, the ladies were more than willing to help D-Mac break in all his new stuff. So we had to open all these boxes up to let the kids at them and I have to say, I think a bank heist would be easier.

Seriously, when did manufacturers begin to tie down every single piece of a toy? I remember getting G.I. Joes and everything being loose in the box as if it was a big jigsaw puzzle. The only time it wasn't a free-for-all was when several pieces were on that one wire plastic sheet and you had to twist them off, inevitably leaving the jagged edges on either side of that piece which were destined to cut you for as long as you played with the toy. But now everything comes individually separated in its own corner, surrounded by cardboard and then twist-tied to the back of the box. God forbid you had ever planned to use that box again, because by the time everything is finally freed it looks like the packaging was attacked by a wild badger.

I can only assume this is done to prevent shoplifting. People are less likely to open a box and make off with one of the components if it takes a long time to cut it loose. After all, I imagine shoplifting is best done by attracting as little attention to yourself as possible and that would be hard to achieve if you first have to steal a pair of scissors and then spend 20 minutes pulling and hacking at the box in the middle of the aisle. In that regards, it makes a lot of sense. However, that doesn't change the fact that this is really inconvenient in the moment as you are trying to get a truck out of its plastic cocoon while an impatiently little 4 year-old is staring at you and saying things like, "Uncle Tommy, I really want to play with that."

I'm not surprised that this has happened, because everything concerning kids today is more secure. Strapping my nieces into their car seats is like getting them ready for a NASCAR race. But while that is obviously a good idea, the same principle does not transfer over to their toys. All this extra plastic used to tie everything down seems like a big waste of manufacturing time and money. That is why I want to thank the toy makers for the effort, but also tell them this is unnecessary. I don't need everything secured for me and certainly don't need plastic toys more tightly packaged than Waterford Crystal. If I'm foolish enough to buy a toy where the box has been opened and I don't double-check to make sure that all the contents are still inside, that is my own fault. And should that happen, believe me, my nieces will be the first to let me know.