Name That Voice

If you have ever wanted to make a living as an actor, one of the most under-rated gigs is that of the voice-over actor. These are the people who do the speaking parts of cartoons, narrate commercials and record the greetings at shopping malls. It may not always be glamorous, but you can make a very nice living for a really long time without doing that much work and when you really start to get steady clients, such as the guy who was the voice for thousands of movie trailers, you can work from a studio in your own home. Honestly, as jobs go, it isn't a bad one to have. That is why it is not a surprise to see big-name actors take what amounts to a paid vacation to work on Pixar or other high-quality animated movies. When they do these movies they obviously have to take less than their normal salaries, but working on these cartoons also carries less risk for an actor, because it seems like no one remembers who the actors were when a cartoon movie flops. (For example, no one was blaming Matt Damon when "Titan A.E." wasn't the kind of box-office blockbuster he usually produces.) If a normal movie fails it can really hurt an actor's ability to get another good script, but if an animated movie doesn't do well the stink of failure never seems to follow them around. This afternoon I think I figured out why.

I was watching some of the next generation this afternoon and we were watching "Little Mermaid" (you know, because that is how I rock out my Friday afternoons these days). I hadn't seen this movie in well over a decade and it is always weird to watch kid's movies as an adult because you notice things you never caught onto as a child. (For example: why does Disney have such a thing against moms? Honestly, go back and read the stories - the moms are never around.) Still, at least the songs are damn catchy. Anyway, I was having a problem as I was watching because I could not place one of the voices. I knew I had heard it before, but I couldn't remember where. So, for the rest of the movie I wasn't concentrating on the story, but counting down the minutes until it was over and I could get to IMDB to look it up. Even though I have obviously seen the movie before, it still does not make for a very good viewing experience. About 20 minutes in I figured out why I was having such a problem remembering the name of the actor - they don't always roll credits at the start of animated movies.

Animated movies might be the only feature-length films which don't list everyone in the cast during the opening sequence. It is one of those things you only notice when you think back about it, but up until the last couple of years, cartoons wouldn't name those voices until the movie was over. I assume they do this because they wanted you focusing on the voice and not thinking about the face behind it. They must have believed that when you know it's Ray Romano doing the voice it can be hard to get away from picturing his face every time the woolly mammoth speaks. However, I think just the opposite is true. Once I know who is speaking I can just watch the movie, same as any normal film when the main actor is heavily made up or wearing a prosthetic. Once I know who is hiding under that mask I will ease up, but until then I can't concentrate on the story as my mind is constantly asking itself where it knows that voice from and what other movies has that person done? (By the way, for those of you wondering, the voice of King Triton is done by Kenneth Mars, who was probably most famous for playing the Inspector in "Young Frankenstein" but appeared in roughly 200 other things as well as being a voice actor for dozens of cartoons. Told you, you can do voice work forever.)

Now I'm not saying I want them to list every actor who has worked on the film during the opening 5 minutes of the movie. After waiting in line, buying tickets, getting there early enough to get a good seat, sitting through 3-5 previews and a commercial I am more than ready to get the movie rolling. Also, I certainly don't want to have to sit through a complete listing of everyone who worked on film like they have at the end of the film. (Seriously, if you've ever sat through the end credits waiting for the 'hidden scene' which is so popular with movies right now you know how long that takes. After a while I think they just start listing every person who wandered by the set that afternoon.) I simply don't think a list of the main stars of the film will take all that much time to roll through. It will allow people to fully concentrate on the story going forward, since their brains won't be busy mentally scrolling through every movie they have ever seen trying to find a match to the voice on the screen. I know everyone has the internet on their phones these days, but since you aren't supposed to turn your phone on during the movie, how about theses animated movie studios hire an extra graphics person and just list the main stars right away? I know it will save me a lot of mental aggravation.