Commercial Breakdown

Once again, we have reach that point where I have seen one particular commercial far too often and have some comments I feel I have to make about it, "Mystery Science Theater 3000"-style. If it feels like I just did one of these recently, that's because I did. You can blame the golf schedule for having majors so close together and also TNT for only having about six commercials to go around. Honestly, I think I saw this particular ad every single commercial break and there were a lot of those. It is like they were asking me to make fun of it. Before we go any further, the advertisement in question:

:03 Ok, so the premise here is that this bank has replaced a person with a blender to show how annoying it is when you call a business and want to talk to a human being, but instead have to deal with some automated phone system. Considering 95% of the time I prefer the phone system because it is more helpful, the premise is already busted before we start. When you factor in the number of people who work in the dry cleaning industry who don't speak English as a first language you could almost argue the blender would be more helpful.

:05 I don't think this man is confused at the sign, I think he is confused because he doesn't knows what a blender is. Honestly, he is wearing a v-neck undershirt and a blazer at the dry cleaners: does he strike you as the kind of person who spends any time in a kitchen? That's what he pays the maid for.

:08 This woman wastes valuable time by standing around and looking at her watch before pressing the button. The sign told you to do that from the start. Honestly, if this is taking too long she has no one to blame but herself.

:10 For the next couple of seconds we see people throwing mini-temper tantrums because they aren't being waited on at the exact second they want to be. Maybe I have seen this commercial too many times, but I feel no sympathy for them. If you want your laundry to treated like it is the most important clothing in history, do it your damn self.

:15 For some reason, this guy especially bugs me. He just strikes me as the kind of person who always feels like he should go first. I can almost guarantee that when the producers revealed to him that he was on a hidden-camera commercial and asked him to sign a release they were given a speech on why his time is so valuable, which actually ended up wasting 5 minutes of his allegedly precious time.

:18 Nope, I take that back. This is my least favorite person in this commercial. Dude, you're being asked to wait a little. Is standing around for a minute that hard? My nieces have more patience than this. Act like an adult for Christ's sake.

:22 At least we end on a high note. This guy does look half amused, but mostly confused as to why there is nothing in the blender. Perhaps a nice margarita would help?

:30 So, I saw this ad roughly 100 times between Thursday and Friday and never got one crucial question answered: Where the hell is there an Ally Bank? Are they even around here or is it like Buffalo Wild Wings, were I constantly see the commercials but can't buy the product? If you are going to spend money on advertising (though if you are using the hidden-camera trick you are obviously trying to keep costs down), shouldn't whether or not I could actually use your product be among the questions answered?

I have to say this commercial doesn't inspire me to switch banks, because if these are the kind of people who use Ally Bank I don't want to be associated with them. Clearly they don't handle lines well and there are always lines at the bank. If I had to be behind one of these people every time I went to make a deposit I would end up using the blender as a weapon.