Gift Gasp

As I've gotten older it has slowly dawned on me that there is no such thing as 'the perfect Christmas gift'. You can get something the person will really like or truly needs, but if it was something they couldn't live without than chances are they would have found a way to get their hands on it before December. I'm not saying you should forget about holiday shopping, buy gift cards for everyone on your list and simply call it a season, just that we should stop putting so much pressure on ourselves to find an amazing item for every single person on our holiday shopping lists. This is something I know I really struggle with because of my shopping habits. I shop like my list doubles as a scavenger hunt and thus have a tendency to hesitate about buying an item which would make a perfectly acceptable gift because it is not exactly what I started the day looking for. One more than a few occasions I have not bought a gift which was in my hand, gone to multiple locations without finding something better and then slunk back to the original store to only to discover the gift which would have been quite good is now gone. At least I know how crazy this behavior is. The sad thing is that it is nothing compared to what I do when I actually find what I am looking for.

When I started my holiday shopping I had one specific item in the back of my mind that I wanted to find, but did not hold out much hope of success. Since I haven't given it to the person yet I can't give you too many details, but just know that I was hoping to find a holiday-themed version of this thing and it is almost never associated with Christmas. So, I had lowered my expectations before I even started, but made sure to look around every store I went into on the off-chance they made it. As expected, my first few days of holiday shopping brought me nothing. However, I was in my local TJ Maxx (if you know me at all then you knew if I ever found this thing it was either going to be in a TJs or a Marshall's) when out of the corner of my eye I spied the item. This is where the story gets a little embarrassing. Not only did I audibly gasp when I first saw it, but for a moment I forgot that I was in public. I stalked over to the display table and dramatically swooped my arm down to grab it from the bin. I was a half-second away from hoisting it over my head like Excalibur when I snapped back to reality and remembered that no one else around me was aware what was important enough to warrant this little one-man play and if they were watching me I probably looked a little strange.

[Sidebar: This is hardly the first time I have done something like this, because I often let my mind wander a little too far. I've admitted this in a previous blog post, but it is worth repeating - if you ever see me standing in line at the bank just know in my mind I'm actually going over scenarios of what I would do to save everyone if the bank was robbed and they suddenly looked to me to play the action hero. (While the reality is it would not end well for anyone involved, in my head Jason Statham has got nothing on me.) The good part is that I never act on those thoughts because I don't think security would appreciate that. But, I am sure I am not alone in this. I believe people are constantly starring in their own biopic which is only being filmed in their mind and is way more dramatic than what is actually occurring. It is something we learn to do as children when we pretend with our toys. The only difference between how we used to do this as kids and now is that as kids we were allowed to act these scenarios out and now if you try them people think you are peculiar. Moral of this rant? While mostly awesome, growing up does have a few disadvantages.]

Still, it is moments of discovery like this which keep me shopping like my list is a challenge and not settling for any gift just to get all my holiday buying done. If I feel 'eh' about a gift than the moment of buying it is also very bland. But if I think I am buying the person something they will genuinely like than it ramps up the entire shopping experience. Admittedly, there is something a little selfish about it. If I'm spending the money and not getting to use whatever I am buying than the at least I should get some excitement out of buying it. It is one of the reasons I am much more willing to fight crowds at the mall rather than scan my computer until something interesting comes on the screen - the "Ah-ha!" moment just isn't the same when it is virtual. Honestly, there are worse things in the world I could be addicted to than the feeling of buying someone a really good present. But next year I think every now and again I need to step back and remind myself that sometimes it is just the thought that counts because trying for perfection is really just a recipe for inaction. Not to mention, if I find the perfect gift too many time in one holiday season at some point I will forget where I am and make a scene in a store.