Slow Roll

Because I have no one to blame but myself for not having my Christmas shopping done well before now, I was willing to accept my fate of long lines and haggard store clerks when I ventured out yesterday in hopes of finishing my list. I just considered it my procrastination tax. However, I have to say I was pleasantly surprised at what I encountered - no one was particularly snappy, the lines never got that long, even the ones which were slightly lengthy moved quickly and while a few people seemed genuinely stressed they were not about to take it out on the total stranger standing in line behind them. Other than not coming close to finishing my list, I was pretty happy with the experience. The only problems I had were actually getting into the malls. Once I was inside everything went great, but up to that point it was another stark reminder that we really need to have stricter driving tests in this country. It's not even so much four lanes of traffic trying to squeeze through a one-lane entrance, it's the fact that the people in the parking lot are cruising around at 5 mph even though you can see every spot is taken and no one is walking towards any of the cars in the aisle. I'm not saying I think people should be speeding around a crowded parking lot, but if a spot is taken there is no point in inching past it and hoping the car in the spot magically disappears. Also, if the car in front of you doesn't take a spot it probably a safe conclusion that there isn't a spot open.

Yesterday I was at the Natick Collection, which is nothing more than a very fancy way of calling a group of stores something other than a mall. Now, if you wish to enter the Collection through the massive expansion which went up a couple of years ago you have a couple of options of very nice, clean and well-planned out parking garages which will even tell you how many spaces are available on each level. But, if you happen to want to enter the old part of the mall you have to use the older parking garages, which were apparently designed in the heyday of Boston architecture when roads didn't have to go straight and could suddenly become one-way streets in the opposite direction of what you are currently facing. I can think of no other explanation for why else there would be a dead-end section of the parking garage I was in yesterday. Still, an idea is only as bad as the people who fall for it, so perhaps I have no one to blame but myself for turning down that aisle. I knew it was a dead-end street, but was partly hoping that fact would have scared a few people off and I would find a spot on the ground floor. I feel like on any other shopping day I would have felt stupid, but could have moved along. However, on this shopping day I had another problem to deal with - the woman in the Jeep behind me who had the same stupid idea.

Now, if she had immediately followed me down the aisle than I would have understood that. However, what she did instead was watch me from the end of the aisle, see me get to the end of the row, realize I had no place to go because it was a dead end, start to back up, begin the task of turning around in an area which was barely wider than my truck and when I was about 6 points in to my 400-point turn, decide to come down the aisle and stop roughly 5 feet from my bumper, also known as where my truck needed to be in another couple of seconds. I'm not sure what she was thinking - did she assume I was passing up a space? Because I feel like she should know if I had found a space I would have grabbed it and been thrilled. A reasonable person would have assumed that if a person is leaving the section they just entered it must be because this section doesn't have any available spaces. It wasn't even like she was in a mini-Cooper and thought perhaps there was a space my truck didn't fit into that her could would have. Lastly, the fact she felt the need to get that close while I was still turning around was rather infuriating. That would have been too close in any parking lot, but when I have about three feet of space to work with it was a serious breach of personal space. Thus, I only felt a little bad when another car started coming down the aisle as I was leaving and she was starting her 400-point turn. I assume this particular scene repeated itself all afternoon long.

The thing is that the parking situation wouldn't need to be this bad if people would just be willing to accept their fates and walk a little. The reason tempers are so short is that we are all fighting for the same 10 spots which are closest to the door, despite the fact that if we really couldn't handle the steps we would have handicap parking badges to hang from our windows (judging from the able-bodied people who have them, they can't be very hard to acquire). There were plenty of spaces towards the back of these lots and the weather yesterday was just fine for a short stroll. Besides, it is not like these parking lots require a monorail ride into the building like they are Disney World - the farthest spot from the entrance is at most a couple hundred yards. Sometimes there is something to be said for parking far from the store - it can make for a quick escape if you are only going in for one item and know exactly where it is located. Additionally, by parking away from everyone else you lessen the chance the person who pulls in next to you will swing their door open and scratch your car. Unfortunately, while people are willing to put up with crowded stores and long lines, they are unwilling to budge on parking. I guess they are anticipating coming out with arms full of bags and don't want to juggle them all the way to the car. Normally I would suggest making a quick pit stop in the middle of your shopping to drop off the bags, but unfortunately that also teases the people looking for parking spaces because they think you are leaving. The last thing we need is people driving even slower looking for at a spot which is opening any time soon. It's not nice to be that cruel at Christmas time.