Cursed Complex

I don't actually consider myself a particularly superstitious man. (Please note - sports teams do not count in this discussion. I mean, sure, whether or not I have made my bed that morning probably won't impact how the Patriots play that afternoon, but why risk it?) I do not believe in ghosts and do not think buildings can be haunted. (Shows such as "Celebrity Ghost Stories" only serve to reaffirm this position.) However, I have no such issues about believing that an inanimate object can be spiteful. There have simply been too many times when I have witnessed various machines, which shouldn't have any opinion in the matter, refuse to perform their duties for one person but then operate exactly as the manufacturer had intended the second a different person took the controls. And this kind of bad mojo can also extend to buildings. Again, this isn't to say the buildings is haunted just that, much like people, you simply can't get along with every place you walk into. Sometimes a building just gives you bad vibes and others it is blatantly hostile. For example, I have discovered that people who travel frequently all have one airport they refuse to fly in or out of because something bad always happens to their flight when they try to leave that airspace. Once is an accident, twice is a coincidence, three times is evidence. The good news is that once you are sure that you don't get along with a structure you can pretty easily avoid it. The bad news is that the only way to find out whether or not a building hates you is to walk into it and see what happens.

This morning I had to go to Cambridge for a meeting. Now everything went really well in the building where the actual meeting took place but I wasn't quite so lucky when it came to where I parked my car. Right away I knew I was off to a bad start when I emerged from the garage and discovered it was not even the one I was aiming for. Apparently my GPS got a little mixed up with all the construction going on in the area and became convinced a garage down the street from where I wanted to end up was my destination. While not an enjoyable walk in 20 degree cold and a stiff wind it was still not the worst thing in the world, as my GPS has sent me on much worse detours. The real trouble started after the meeting when I came back to find a car had parked extremely close to my truck. I'm really not exaggerating when I tell you it was so far over the line and close to my truck on the driver's side that they were nearly touching. Two things became pretty obvious pretty quickly - the first was that there was obviously no passenger in that car and the second is that the person behind the wheel had to be a gigantic prick because they had to know they had left me no room to get in to my own vehicle and obviously didn't care. I was really annoyed with this but there wasn't much I could do because it wasn't as though I was about to key the other driver's car. While the thought crossed my mind it never became more than that, though in that moment I would have happily settled for one of those old Mickey Mouse flyers a kid I went to high school used to love to hand out around the school parking lot.

Still, it really became apparent that this parking garage was not my friend when I resigned myself to having to go in through the passenger's side and climb over the center console, only to find that the car on the passenger's side was nearly as close as the one on the driver's side. (They had left me maybe 10 inches to work with, compared to 2.) That turned out to be enough room to squeeze myself through, though not enough to avoid getting my pants covered in the road grime from the other car. [Sidebar: Some of you may contend that I brought all this upon myself by driving such a large vehicle. But while I will admit that my choice in transportation is probably slightly taller and longer than your average compact car, I would also remind you that I didn't actually have that much choice in the matter. Leg room is key for me and it is not like I could fit in a Smart Car even if I wanted to. Besides, I can easily defend my choice in vehicles by pointing out that while my car may be heavier and use more gas than a Prius it is only three inches wider than one and that is the only dimension we are concerned with today. Three inches would have been of no additional help in this situation.] It's a good thing I've been going to the gym for the last couple of months, otherwise I would have had to go in through the rear hatch and climb over the row of seats to get to the driver's seat. I'm sure the security guards who were undoubtedly watching on some security monitor would have had a good laugh at my car aerobics.

But again, even though one driver was obviously a jerk the fault doesn't really lie with them - it lies with the building itself because clearly there is a design flaw. As I mentioned the car parked on the driver's side was well over the yellow line but the car on the other side was not and it still barely gave me enough room to get in and out of my car. Just to remind you, it is not like I drive a dually, which means the spaces in this parking garage simply aren't wide enough. I know that parking garages are like any other building in that the more people you can cram into them the more profitable they become but at some point the lack of adequate space starts to defeat the point and the person who designed this structure had to know people need to open doors to get in and out of their cars. If enough people have a bad experience with this garage than the remaining customers will be able to park sideways and still have enough room because they will be the only cars on that level. I know I certainly won't be going back because on my way out, as if to add one final insult to injury, I discovered this garage had removed their garage attendants and replaced them with machines. Normally I am in favor of self-checkout but that feeling goes away when there is a problem with the machine and there is no one around to deal with the issue. And, as you would expect on this day, I had an issue as the machine gobbled up my ticket, told me it was invalid and as such I would have to pay for an entire day's worth of parking - $30. With no one around that I could complain about this to I had no choice but to cough up the money. Still, as annoying as it was to have to pay for 21 hours of parking that I would never use, at the end of the day I would have paid whatever that machine would have told me, provided it would let me leave and never come back. That parking garage and I do not get along.