The Price Of Inflation

A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post in which I pleaded with all my readers to not drive themselves crazy looking for a perfect gift because after a recent visit to a Savers location, I am pretty sure most efforts will simply wind up there before the first of the year. The larger message was that all the person on your list really wants is to know you appreciate them and any gift-giving effort, no matter how small, will be enough to get that message across. Yeah, well, that very Buddhist approach to Christmas clearly came before I started my own holiday shopping because as the holiday quickly approaches I find myself passing over perfectly acceptable gift ideas in favor of one which will blow the recipient's mind. As you would expect, I blame the internet. Often I talk about how easy it is to fall down the rabbit hole that the world wide web provides but I feel like that gets even worse when you are talking about holiday shopping. There are so many sites selling such an insane variety of products that my brain simply won't allow me to push the "add to cart" button as I am convinced the perfect gift is just one more page click away. What I really need is a screen which informs me that I have reached the end of the internet because that way I will know what all my options are and be able to pick from those. But, since that seems unlikely to happen the next best thing may be to simply shop on a websites which offer undesirable gifts, as they will make the choice I already have look better. In case you hadn't noticed it is not like every gift idea on the internet is a winner.

A couple years ago I pointed out the "all-season sled" - a device where you froze a big block of ice, strapped it to a normal sled and then could go sliding down any incline. I wasn't quite sure who would be interesting in such an item (and I still would love to know their sales figures) because if you lived in a cold-weather setting you know that sledding is one of those activities which seems like a really good idea at the time but turns out to be a lot of work for not that much time. The majority of the afternoon you spend "sledding" is actually spent walking uphill and trying to get ice out from falling down the back of your jacket. The gift would be no more useful to a person who lived in a warm-weather place because they wouldn't really know what sledding was and if it was a really toasty climate they would only get one or two rides in before the ice was gone. Considering ice feels like it takes forever to form (especially if you are a kid), it doesn't seem like a particularly efficient way to spend an afternoon. That is why at the time I contended that this may have been the most impractical gift ever. However, that idea which seems rather naive now because since I wrote that post I have seen plenty of gadgets in the last couple of years to change my mind. For example, the other day I saw a commercial for a Chia-beard on the faces of the "Duck Dynasty" crew. When compared to that, the "all-season sled" seems downright logical. Overall, even though these items seems silly they are harmless. I think the real problem comes when a company is selling an item that is just as silly only they seem to think it provides a service which will benefit mankind.

The item which particularly caught my mind was this. For those of you who don't feel like clicking through, it is a balloon which slides under your car and then inflates to lift the car off the ground, making it very much like a jack only slightly more stable because there is almost no chance the car could slip off it like it could a normal jack. That seems harmless enough and I actually thought it would make for a fun gift idea because I have had to change more than a few tires in my lifetime and know that job becomes much easier when you have the proper tools. The reason I stopped myself from purchasing it (other than the enormous price tag) was because I got to the part where the balloon is inflated by attaching a nozzle to the car's exhaust pipe. Am I the only one who sees a problem in filling a balloon large enough to lift a car with carbon monoxide? My entire life I was taught the first rule of car safety is that you do not put your face anywhere near the tailpipe and if you have a garage opening the door is the first thing you do because allowing exhaust to build-up will kill you. Yet, here is this product which not only collects these deadly emissions for you, it comes with a handy hose to point at someone. How could you possible feel comfortable being within 50 feet of this thing while it was deflating? I'm sure there are safety labels all over the balloon but I think we all know people seeing safety labels and people reading safety labels are two totally different things. I just feel like if you told people you had a container of carbon monoxide you would end up on a terrorist watch list and yet this company seems to think it would make a nice present under the tree.

Also, let's not just gloss over the fact that this is still just a big balloon. I'm certain the material would be much thicker than the standard balloon you would find at a child's birthday party but even the thickest balloon is only one small hole from being totally useless. Cars which have spent many winters in New England tend to be rather rusty underneath and rust can form some pretty sharp edges. That combination would make me very nervous to be under a car held up by a balloon, especially if it was also full of a poisonous gas. Did we learn nothing from the Hindenburg? Lastly, I would like to know if the car has to stay running the whole time to keep the balloon inflated because with the price of gas not going down ever again that would seem like an even bigger waste of money when a normal jack, even a really high-end one, will only run you between $50-$100. It just seems like buying this would be spending money on an over-complicated solution because you can. (I know what you're thinking: Isn't that the true spirit of Christmas?) Now, I hate being the guy who sits back and craps on another person's invention without offering a viable solution of my own so I will say this idea has some promise, provided they simply found a way to attach a motor which would inflate the balloon with normal air. I would certainly be more inclined to think about purchasing one in the future if that were the case. Still, for now I think I'll keep on looking for other gift ideas. The good news is a totally new page of potential gifts is never more than a mouse click away.