Do-Re-Don't

I feel like a have a pretty solid understanding of how network television works but someone is going to have to explain to me why most shows go into reruns in the middle of December. These shows have only been back since September and yet as soon as Thanksgiving hits they all take a month off and hit us with reruns. It's even more confusing when you remember that a majority of television shows are shot over the summer which means most of the episodes for this season are already done, so why they suddenly need a break has always confused me. Either way, it means that in place of these shows come random one-night events. Tonight is a perfect example of this as a little bit later this evening NBC will air a new, live version of "The Sounds Of Music" with country music star Carrie Underwood in the lead role. You may be wondering why NBC is doing this (I'm sure some at NBC are wondering as well). Honestly, I can't give you much an answer because I don't have one. Maybe they bought the rights to the movie years ago but lost their copy and figured this was the next best solution. Perhaps they wanted to promote the NFL more (they paid so much money for Sunday Night Football) and figured since Carrie Underwood sings the theme to that show this will give her some more screen time for people to remember that they have a game this Sunday. Or maybe this will all end up being an extremely elaborate prank and something else will air in its place. No matter how you slice it there is only one thing I can be sure of - everyone is going to hate it.

Look, this is nothing against Carrie Underwood. By all accounts she has a lovely voice (I'm only familiar with her biggest hits) and is a very nice person in real life but this show is going to get destroyed by reviewers. The problem for Underwood is that she simply isn't Julie Andrews, which means most people are going to dismiss her before the show even starts. This is the problem with trying to remake a beloved classic - ironically the audience who are most likely to tune in are also the ones who will hate it the most for no other reason than it is not the version they grew up with. We saw this last year when they remade "Les Miserables" - the more people had seen the stage production the less they liked the movie because they had already heard all those songs sung better than the actors. If anything the person who should really get hammered by critics is the one who authorized this show in the first place because there was literally nothing to be gained from doing this. Even if Underwood sang it better the simple fact is she didn't sing it first and therefore all anyone is going to want to hear in the future is the original version. Also, going back to the "Les Miserables" experience, why does this show need to be live? One of the reasons that movie didn't work for me was because everything had to be shot as a close-up to hear the voices singing in real time. When it comes to putting things on film, pre-recorded voices are your friend. The first version was all pre-recorded and that doesn't make it any less popular. Besides, it is not like the knowledge they were singing live is going to save this show from criticism anyway.

[Confession Time: I guess this is where I should admit I've never actually seen "The Sound of Music." Don't get me wrong, I've seen clips here and there (I didn't grow up under a rock) so I know the general premise and the big musical numbers but I never made it through an entire showing from start to finish. Seeing that it is a Disney Production I feel confident in assuming everything turns out fine in the end and even if it doesn't I don't really care. I don't have any moral stance against the film, I just feel like there are titles I would rather watch instead. Yet for some reason this knowledge shocks a lot of people, probably because of all the terrible movies I have seen multiple times. Admittedly, it is a little weird that I have never seen a movie which is supposed to be a classic like "The Sound of Music", but I've seen "Stealth" half a dozen times. The thing is, I don't want to see it because I also feel like everyone has that one movie they haven't seen which everyone else assumes the entire world owns a copy of. I am always fascinated to know what movie makes up the gigantic hole in a person's film library and the reaction most people have when they hear I have never seen "The Sound of Music" is worth not watching it. Plus, the more people tell me I have to see it the less likely it is that I will. I'm stubborn that way but at least I pay other people the same courtesy. Even when I feel like they are missing out on an amazing movie I would never try and force anyone to watch a certain title because, as I'm sure you well know, demanding a person enjoy something is the best way to ensure they will never like it. This is my particularly long-winded way of saying I will not be watching this show either.]

The only good news for Carrie Underwood and everyone else involved in the production is they will be able to take solace by remembering that most of the hate spewed about this show will be done on the internet, where everyone hates everything, which means the large majority of the reviews will be ignored. After all, some of these people have already declared it will be awful without giving it a chance and that automatically nulls any credibility they may have had. I may frequently use this blog to tell you why things are a bad idea but I always maintain I will wait and see the finished product before passing final judgement. (This stance is why I feel like I am a good dude but a terrible critic.) Besides, the internet's gut reaction is to put-down everything immediately, so after a while if they don't hate you it means they are ignoring you. Also, almost as a reward for listening to all this complaining, the cast and crew can expect the usual sympathy boomerang which happens anytime something is crushed before it even has a chance to prove itself, so tomorrow there are bound to be lot of people with reviews of "Better than expected!" It's not the highest of praise but it is better than nothing. The only way this ends badly is if anyone was expecting this to launch their career. This is a fine project for an established star to try out but you would not want a live remake of "The Sound of Music" to be your first introduction to the world because in a lot of people's mind it will forever brand you as a person who can only sing other people's music. Hey, I guess in that regard Carrie Underwood, who rose to fame on the glorified karaoke contest that is "American Idol", is the perfect person to take the lead here. Still, you would think she would throw some of the 95 winners from that show we never hear from any more some work. I assume they could use it.