A Few Fast Ones

-There was yet another water main break in Norwood overnight. It was close in location to the one from last week, but doesn't sound as severe so it shouldn't effect many people. Still, I hope this doesn't become a weekly occurrence.

-I was reading the headlines in Goggle News and one of the stories about Wesley Snipes facing three years in jail for failure to pay his taxes referred to him as "90s actor Wesley Snipes." That seems harsh. I know the guy hasn't put out a good movie since 1998, but he has done numerous movies in this decade. As far as I knew quality was not a factor into whether or not you could call yourself an actor. It if was we would have to start referring to a lot of actors by a single year.

-I was watching a football game this afternoon when two players started fighting and both of them were ejected. The ref went on the mike and told the crowd the players, "disqualified themselves." I loved that, because it sounds just so much classier. I think we should start referring to all fights as self-disqualifying. "Dude, what happened between Dave and that guy at the bar?" "Oh, they disqualified themselves from going to the next bar with us."

-It was announced the other day that Daniel Day-Lewis is going to play Abe Lincoln in an upcoming Steven Spielberg-directed biopic. I'm not sure if the project has an official title yet, but allow me to suggest: "Trolling for Oscars."

-While I'm not a fan of the full-body scans that are taking place at airports, the people I get the most annoyed at are the ones being interviewed before they fly who say things like, "I'm all for security, but..." Actually, when you add the 'but' to the end of that sentence you are, in fact, not all for security. Turns out what you mean is, "I'm all for giving someone else a cavity search, but I want to be through this line in five minutes."