A Highway Mystery

While I don't have one, I can understand the appeal of vanity plates. It is your chance to tell the world, "Hey, I like to make a statement in everything I do. No random set of letters and numbers for me - I have a something that I feel very strongly about." Also, I appreciate the decisiveness that is inherent in the people who have custom license plates. They picked the one thing they want everyone to know and it's not written on a piece of paper they stuck in the window: this was stamped into steel. Plus, it's not like they put this message out there on a whim: they had to sit down and makes sure their message fit in 7 letters or fewer and if it didn't they had to figure out a way to abbreviate that message, then check with the DMV to makes sure it was available. They had plenty of chances to change their mind and they didn't. And much like a tattoo, it doesn't matter if anyone else knows what it means, they know what it means. I admire that. This is exactly why I can't stand a car which has been bathed in bumper stickers, all with different causes - pick one message and go with it, hippy.

However that doesn't mean I wouldn't appreciate the occasional backstory. For example, today I was behind an SUV with the vanity plate "POOL". At first I assumed it was because the person was driving a car leased to a company that either installed pools or pool tables. But, a minute later I pulled alongside the vehicle and there was nothing on the door to indicate that was the case. No phone number or decals to be seen. Apparently, this guy just wanted his license plate to read "POOL". [Sidebar: who even thought that would have even been available? I would have just assumed it would have been grabbed up by some company years ago.] Well, now I'm just dying to know what is the deal with this guy and pools. Does he swim a lot? Does he play a lot of pool? I mean, c'mon, there are so many ways this could go.

I know I said it only matters that the driver knows the message behind that plate, but that's when it's just a series of letters. I've never been good at the Daily Jumble and going down the highway at 65 mph is not the time to try and improve my skill. The guy could be a hundred miles away before it clicks. Therefore, I'm not worried about what "FJUTSTY" means because there is no way I'm even coming close to figuring that out. (...And neither will you, because it is not a real example. I just hit seven letters at random. Don't stare at that for hours hoping it will suddenly mean something.) But I know "POOL" can only refer to a couple of things and now I want to know which one this guy meant. I would almost prefer the person was a terrible speller, because then I would never have started down this path. Instead I'm left wondering if this guy is an Olympic swimmer or a hustler. Seriously, one small bumper sticker on the window with a swim team logo would have killed you?