Inspection Time, Take 2

I admit, I probably have an unusual interest in numbers. I strongly believe that certain numbers should be considered unlucky and I want nothing to do with them. I found most people don't pay attention to numbers during the everyday details and so my interest probably comes off as even weirder than it should. Six is a great number. Seven, however, sucks. It is because of my love of the number six and loathing of the number seven that I made sure to have my car inspected early enough that should it need repair, I could still get a number six for my inspection sticker (I know they're supposed to give you the number of the month you failed, regardless of when you get re-tested, but not all mechanics are stringent about that. They think they're helping you out by giving you an extra month.). Anyways, it is because I gave myself enough time that I was down trying to get my car re-inspected on the last day of the month, which is like going to the post office on April 15th to mail a package that doesn't have to be anywhere until June. Sure, you can do it that day, but it's not a good idea.

I first rolled up to the place where I failed last week only to find three cars ahead of me. The head mechanic told me it would be at least a half an hour before they got to my car. Not wanting to just sit around I drove off to do an errand, returned 40 minutes later and discovered two of those same cars still sat in front of me. Never mind, I would be back later. I went home, had some lunch and came back after a couple hours, determined to just get this inspection process over with. There was only one car ahead of me in the bay, so I wouldn't be waiting long. But, when that car finished the guy who would be doing my inspection (same as last week) came out and asked if he could just do a quick tire rotation on another car before he got to me. It would take five minutes. I agreed, trying to build up some goodwill with this guy. He finally got to me 20 or so minutes later and drove my truck into the bay.

I would like to take this opportunity to say that I don't even think they re-test cars when they come in after failing the first time. I think they just assume you went ahead and fixed whatever the problem was. I didn't hear a peep out of that bay the entire time my truck was in there. For all I know he went out back to have a smoke. This suspicion was half-confirmed when he drove my truck back out, with it's new street-legal sticker on the windshield. We then had the following conversation. (What I said is in normal font, what I thought is in bold):

Him: Hey, you got the front break pads done.
Me: Uh, yeah. Cause you told me I had to. You failed me for it before.
Him: Well, you're all good now.
Me: And here it comes...
Him: But.
Me: I knew it.
Him: You need to keep an eye on those front tires.
Me: I'm stunned you didn't fail me for them last time.
Him: I didn't say nothing about them before...
Me: Is it because if you failed me for them today, after passing them seven days ago you can tell I'll shove a pen through your eye?
Him: But you're gonna need new ones soon.
Me: Yeah, I had a ball joint problem a while back so...
Him: Don't say nothing, just go.
Me: Oh, ok. Why, is the asshole who let them pass last time gonna hear? It was you! Now you're all about doing me a favor? Why didn't you let my brake pads go then!

In the end, however, it all worked out. I've passed my inspection and I am done with the process for another year. I just need to scope out yet another place to try for next June.

I Work Best on a Deadline...

Because of my time in radio, I'm used to getting stuff done quickly. I was often handed a piece of audio to cut up and when I asked when they needed it by, the answer was usually, "Uh... now?" As a result I'm quite good when I have no time to pull stuff together. That doesn't mean that I can't do stuff until the last minute, it just means that I do my best work when I have no time to wonder about re-doing it over and over until it's absolutely perfect. Thinking only gets in the my way.

I bring this up because the Notorious EJR and her betrothed recently put up their wedding website and due to the counter on that site it was brought to my attention their wedding is in a little more than 100 days. Now, I get to bring a date to this wedding, which promises to be a rip-roaring good time. And so it occurred to me that I've got to get a move on, cause a wedding isn't exactly 2nd or 3rd date material. Plus, I would hate to do that to Liz and Simon. 35 years from now when they're looking at wedding pictures I would hate to be the person who brought the random girl who no one remembers her name. I've got to get a move on if I'm going to have a nice foundation laid down by September when I'll be solidifying plans.

-There's a fight brewing over what to do with Michael Jackson's children. There are lots of questions from who is the mother of the youngest child, to what sort of parental rights does the biological mother of the oldest two have. Jackson's mother wants to keep the kids together and with her, but she's got to be in her 80's and it's not like her kids turned out normal. It's going to be a mess. Personally, I feel I have the perfect solution: give the kids to Kate Gosselin. Seriously, she has an army of nannies, the kids would always have a playmate and she knows how to handle the paparazzi. They need to replace Jon anyway; this will re-invigorate the show. That arrangement would work.

-Bernie Madoff was sentenced today to 150 years in prison. Really, the guy is 71 years old - just shoot him. People don't care about the prison term, they just want their money back.

-Remember how I was sort of anti-Celtic Cheerleader when they first announced a team was being formed? Yeah, that feeling has gone away.

Yeah, I got nothing...

It's not easy to have something to write about every single day. But, I said I would post everyday for the calendar year of 2009 and so I shall. Today is just one of those days when I've got 10,000 little thoughts, but nothing worth devoting three paragraphs to. Instead, here's a video to pass the time.



-I'm not sure what having Maroon 5 play at your wedding is more indicative of: how much money you must have to be able to pull that off, or just how far Maroon 5 has fallen.

-Does this count as number three and a half? Seriously, can we be done with death for the week now?

A Week's Worth of Weird in One Post...

I've sort of clumped them all together, to save you the time of checking around for them yourself:

-Their loss to the United States has been eased by the fact that the U.S. then went on to beat Spain, proving that the U.S. isn't quite so inept at soccer. So I would imagine getting their hotel rooms robbed by the hookers they hired has gone back to being the lowest point for the Egyptian National Team. And they were doing so well after beating Italy.

-The whole point of a random drug test is to try to catch you off guard, not giving someone time to set up a way around the test. Also, if someone refuses to take a test, I can see how that would look bad and you could mark that up as a positive test. I'm all for keeping sports clean, but there should be limits. Banning a guy for two years because he won't come in to test and would rather spend the night with his girlfriend seems excessive is all. Weren't these drug officials ever 24 years old? Maybe she isn't in the mood much and he had to strike while the iron was hot. Jees, have a heart.

-You don't have to read the whole article about the home-schooled kids in Georgia who have started their own football team. I just want you to look at this picture. How come no one, not even the guy printing up the sign, caught that? Honestly, aren't the home-schooled kids usually the best spellers?

You know, besides the mental self-competition, exercise and fresh air, another great reason to take up golf is because it's where all the crazy shit goes down:

-Etiquette is a huge part of golf. So if these 3 guys were in fact slow playing then they should have let the guy by himself play through. He's absolutely right about that part. The "morally obligated to destroy them" part, however, isn't quite covered anywhere in the rules.

-My uncles enjoy a good joke as much as the next lot. But, leaving someone after they've had ten beers and letting him try to drive home in a golf cart is a line even they wouldn't (probably) cross.

-Donald Trump: once again proving that beggars can, in fact, be choosers. You know, my nieces do this with crayons. They want a crayon, any crayon, but then you give them a yellow crayon and they suddenly want a red crayon. However, they're 2. Whats Donald's excuse?

Lastly, this is the latest video to sweep the Internet. Personally, it has too much Allen Iverson, not enough Mike Gundy's "I'm a Man!" for my tastes. But, it still has a catchy beat to it. Enjoy.

A Little Audio Stimulation...

I'm not a big Michael Jackson fan. I don't get the people who cried at his very appearance. But, I know that there are people out there (Elizabeth Jane Robbins, for one) who are upset at his untimely death. So, with them in mind, I'm getting annoyed with how the media are now referring to Jackson as the "Self Proclaimed" King of Pop - no, it was you people who called him that back in the day and you know what, he was. This wasn't like when Terence Trent D'Arby was declared the next big thing - this was real.

People forget how big a deal Michael Jackson was in the late 80's and into the early 90's. When they wanted to do "We are the World" they essentially just corralled everyone from the American Music Awards before they had a chance to go home and brought them all into one studio. In that room full of the biggest stars of the time (Bruce Springsteen, Lionel Richie, Cyndi Lauper, Kenny Rogers, Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, Hall and Oates... Dan Aykroyd), it was Jackson that was the unquestioned biggest star there. Jackson was the icon among icons in his day. The fact that he went off the rails later in his life skews this fact, but for a time he was the biggest star on the planet. The moonwalk was a transcendent moment in pop culture. Hell, my sisters even had Michael Jackson action figures (convenient, cause they fit into the Barbie Porsche).

Now, later in life he clearly went a little nuts. If we were to find out in 5 years that Jackson faked his death to escape huge debt and have unprecedented sales for a "Resurrection" tour (with Tupac as an opener), that wouldn't surprise me in the least. But, for now we'll just assume he's really dead. So, with all that in mind, here are my favorite Michael Jackson songs, not in any specific order... and not all done by Michael Jackson. Think of it as a way to show his influence.

NBA Ramblings...

-Of course the Celtics are shopping Ray Allen and Rajon Rondo. There are only so many pieces that would be attractive to other teams and you have to see what you can get for them - sentimentality be damned. Allen has a huge expiring contract and Rondo is young, cheap and talented. It isn't like the phone is ringing off the hook for people looking to talk about Big Baby Davis. Plus, you can't move Pierce at this point, he has tenure; and you won't move Garnett, unless you want to go back to the days of drawing 10,000 people to an 18,000 seat building. That leaves Allen, Rondo and Scals' contract as filler.

-I will say this, though: I don't really like Danny's history on draft night. He has this really bad habit of making a deal 4 hours before the draft instead of sitting back and seeing how things unfold first. When you have that many bad teams picking ahead of you, it's never a bad idea to wait and see how (not if) they'll screw up.

-Due to my pre-Celtic love of Kevin Garnett, I will always have a soft spot for the Timberwolves. And, since they have added Gomes and Jefferson they are essentially the Celtics' Western Conference Branch. But, just when I thought I couldn't like them more, they add my favorite Lithuanian, Darius Songaila. Nicely done. Doesn't change the fact that they now own the 5th and 6th picks in a draft where there are only 4 good players, but I'm a fan anyways.

-Congrats on getting Shaq, LeBron. Now you've pretty much screwed yourself. If you still don't win a title next season, people will start to wonder just what the hell you need to win one. If you manage to win a title then it will be more about Shaq getting his fifth then you getting your first. You'll be right where Dwayne Wade is now and Kobe was until about two weeks ago: people will view it as Shaq championship with you as the side kick. That should do wonders for your plan to make yourself a global icon. I know every kid on my block had a pair of Pippen sneakers...

-While Cleveland got better, which is not good for the Celtics, at least the Bucks got even weaker and the Spurs got better by adding Richard Jefferson. While I don't think he was ever as good as people would have us believe (playing with Jason Kidd in his prime always helps... ask Kenyon Martin) he's still better than what was left of Bruce Bowen's career. Anything that strengthens a challenger to the Lakers is a good thing in my mind.

-Despite the Celtics not having a pick in the first round of tonight's draft, I'm actually interested to see how things shape up. I said it around the NFL draft: every fan thinks they could be a GM and this is their chance to spout about how they never would have drafted that guy. Plus, everyone will be looking to sell off expiring contracts and big names that they over-paid for. Should make for lots of deals, which is when the NBA is the most interesting.

Thanks for Doing Me a Solid, Mother Nature...

As I've said before, I'm anti-light when it comes time for bed. There are some people who can fall asleep with the windows open and the TV on in the middle of the day - I am just not one of those people. I tried to keep it as dark as possible in my room. This is made harder because any light that manages to creep into my room feels even brighter, just due to the lack of any other light source.

For a while now I have contemplated going with curtains in addition to the mini-blinds that now cover my windows. Sure, it seems excessive, but it is a great way to ensure that I'll be able to achieve the cave-like conditions that make it easier for me to fall asleep. It was especially difficult during this winter as a full moon and freshly-fallen snow made for a reflective show that was the equivalent of pointing a search light into my windows.

But, as with Spring herself, a new season brings new solutions. Turns out that of the multitude of tree branches that surround my house, most aren't dead as I thought all winter. And now as the season gets further on and thanks to the month or so of rain we have had, the trees are doing quite well. They have filled in nicely with leaves. Leaves that provide a nice block to the moonlight while I'm trying to go to bed. Leaves = Nature's Curtains.

-First they let Jimmy Buffet name their stadium, and now the Miami Dolphins are going to be partly owned by Gloria Estefan. Well, they may not win many football games (sorry, Dolphin fans, but the groaning you're about to hear is what happens when everyone has an offseason to plan for the wildcat and Chad Pennington is your starting quarterback), but at least halftime entertainment is taken care of for the foreseeable future.