The Emmys For Shows I've Seen

Every year the Emmy's bring a stunning fact to light: I don't watch a lot of quality TV. Now, I watch as much TV as the next guy, but year after year the Emmys reward shows that I simply haven't seen or don't like enough to watch more than once. Apparently, my tastes are just not outstanding enough. [Sidebar: When did we stop awarding 'best' in favor of 'outstanding'? Did the Emmys get taken over by the Little League Moms of America?] You would think that this would inspire me to broaden my viewing horizons to include better shows, but I'd be fooling myself if I said I was going to do that. I'm going to keep on just watching the shows I already do. Instead, I'm going the other way and simply handing out my own Emmys, which will only be picked from the shows I do watch. As I only seem to watch 8 shows, expect to see a lot of repeats.

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series
Winner: Maggie Siff, "Sons of Anarchy"

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Drama Series
Winner: Adam Ferrara, "Rescue Me"
Alright, I admit, I haven't watched "Rescue Me" in a couple of seasons, I just like Ferarra's stand-up routine. I assume this is how most Emmy voters do their jobs as well.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama Series
Winner: Katey Sagal, "Sons of Anarchy".

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series
Winner: Timothy Olyphant, "Justified."

Outstanding Drama Series
Winner: "Sons of Anarchy"
I've always thought the best dramas are the ones that leave you feeling like your guts have been slightly twisted. This series does just that.

Outstanding Reality Competition Program
Winner: "Big Break, Sandals Resort"
It had the added advantage of being the only reality competition program that I have every watched.

Outstanding Variety, Music or Comedy Series
Winner: “The Daily Show with Jon Stewart”
Hey, look, the Emmys and I agreed on one!

Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series
Winner: Sasha Alexander, "Rizzoli & Isles"
What do you mean that show isn't supposed to be a comedy?

Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series
Winner: Neil Patrick Harris, "How I Met Your Mother"
Sadly, he's quickly become the only reason to watch this show.

Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series
Winners: Julia Louis-Dreyfus, "Seinfeld"
Isn't it standard Emmy protocol every year to give a statue to someone from a show that's already been cancelled? Besides, I see more episodes of "Seinfeld" on TV than almost any other show, so it's like it never left. I guarantee the reruns get more viewers than her new show.

Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series
Winner: Jim Parsons, “The Big Bang Theory”
Wow, the Emmys and I agreed on two. Higher than I thought it would be.

Outstanding Comedy Series
Winner: "Family Guy"
I know it's a cartoon. I also know isn't as critically-acclaimed as shows like "30 Rock" or "The Office", but frankly, that's a good thing. Every now and again it's nice to have some low-brow comedy. I'm tired of being made to feel guilty just because I don't watch "30 Rock" religiously. I laugh when this show is on and that's pretty much the only criteria that should matter.