One Pill Makes You Larger...

I'd never had much of an issue with allergies, but apparently when I turned 30 earlier this year my body decided that it was finally time for me to experience them (according to my detective sister, I'm allergic to ragweed, which is currently running high and there is a history of that allergy in the family). As a result I've awoken the last few mornings to find that whichever half of my face I was sleeping on was now a wall of sinus pressure. If felt like my face was being slowly inflated through my nasal cavity. This morning I finally relented and started to take sinus medication, but at first I was kind of hesitant, because the label makes it perfectly clear that what I was about to put into my system is no joke. All over the label and directions it screams, "Just one a day. One. Do not mess with this stuff and try to take two. One. Do you hear me? O-N-E." With warnings like that I'm surprised this stuff made it through testing. After I opened the box I was surprised to discover that this medication doesn't comes in some giant horse-pill. It's a little, tiny pill the size of the tip of a pen but, apparently it packs one hell of a punch. I have to admit, it was kind of a letdown. The worse part is that it hasn't been all that effective either. But, I'm certainly not about to press my luck and take a second one. I would hate to be on the news as having overdosed on sinus medication.

While we're talking about over-the-counter drugs, why does it seem as though it's always the weaker the medication, the bigger the pills? Like I said, this "take more than one and risk becoming addicted" pill is really tiny. However, if you come down with a condition which requires you to take medication four times an hour invariably those pills will turn out to be the size of an infant's fist. Obviously the huge pills can't pack much of a punch, otherwise you could take the same one a day format that is in place for the other medication. If they have so little actual medicine in them, then why do they come in such a big container? With so many people out there who have trouble swallowing pills wouldn't it make sense to try and make pills that have to be taken repeatedly as small as possible? Plus, I think it would help a person mentally if the medicine you only had to take once came in huge pill form because then you would look at it and say, "Well, yeah, it'll be hard to get down, but look at the size of it, it must be packed with medicine." Conversely, who cares if you have to take 18 pills a day if they are the size of a chocolate sprinkle? And since I'm already giving the pharmaceutical companies ideas, let me just say that putting something in the meds that made them taste like chocolate sprinkles wouldn't be the worst thing you could do.

-I want to go on record right now and personally thank the Minnesota Vikings for sending a jet with three teammates down to Mississippi and demanding that Brett Favre either get on board with them now or forever ride off into retirement. I find it fitting that the Vikings put an end to this, because their initially telling Favre that they were willing to wait while he weighed all his options was what started this drama in the first place. The bottom line is that Favre is back and the waiting game is over. I had visions of this saga dragging out another three weeks or so before Favre announced his return (as we all knew he would this entire time) with one preseason game left. While the media camping out just to get footage of his plane arriving and the O.J.-like helicopter video of his SUV travelling to Vikings' headquarters was way over the top, I'm just glad to know it's over. Now we can start to think about the actual games which, I'm sorry to say for Vikings fans, I do not expect to go as well this season. Given that last year was a mini-career renaissance, no one should expect Favre to put together the same kind of year. I expect the interception numbers to be a lot higher than they were and the bad passes to increase. They'll still make the playoffs, but I'm expecting the Packers to win the division and Vikings to lose in the divisional round. You can't put all your hopes on a 40 year-old quarterback with a bad ankle and expect him to bail you out time and time again. But, hey, at least he's not Tarvaris Jackson.