Five Tidbits On A Friday

-There was an article in this morning's Boston Globe talking about how the wet spring and warm summer have combined to create a stronger crop of poison ivy this year. While this is obviously not something that should be considered a good development for humanity, I would like to think it at least saves my reputation slightly. You may remember it was only a couple of months ago that a bout with the devil weed landed me in the emergency room and having a plant force you to go to a hospital is not a particularly macho moment in any man's life. It's just nice to know that I am not the only one who had to bring out the heavy artillery to fight back.

-Speaking of that lovely time I spent in quarantine, it has forever changed my views on all leaves. Even though I think I know what poison ivy looks like, because I didn't see any on the day I obviously got covered in it I'm never again going to be 100%, absolutely sure of what I'm standing in ever again. Basically I can't trust a pile of leaves. So yesterday when I was golfing and hit into a patch of woods between the two fairways I took about one step in, saw green leaves, took one step right back out and took a drop in the fairway. I didn't even bother to look for my golf ball. Screw it, I can get three for a dollar at Play It Again Sports. Even that one step was probably one too many, because any itch I've had since that step I'm fully convinced is the beginnings of a brand-new outbreak. Not a fun way to go through the rest of the summer.

-Here's a prime example of why I love that you can customize Google News to have a section on the webpage devoted to just your hometown: This morning I was checking the latest happenings in the world. For the most part it was nothing new - Lindsey Lohan is in rehab, the Gulf Oil spill is remaining capped and a crazy person who randomly stabbed a bunch of people was arrested. That was the National News section. Under the Norwood news? A local article that basically pointed out, "Boy, there sure are a lot of barbers in Norwood." See, we only break the important news around these parts.

-There are few things in life that can get me to change the channel faster while watching a Patriots game than hearing the words, "Brian Hoyer now in at quarterback." When the backups go in the game is essentially over and I can search for other entertainment. The only people still watching are the family members of the guys fighting to make a roster. Every year seeing this reminds me how unfair it is that the Patriots still charge full price for preseason tickets. At the start of the second quarter Gillette looked like a ghost town, but you know damn well those people who left didn't get to pay any less for parking than they would have it was the AFC Championship game.

-The only good thing about the Patriot starters getting pulled when they did was that it worked out perfectly, timing-wise, for me to change over to ESPN and watch Jimmy Clausen's debut for the Carolina Panthers. Here's my official review of his performance: eh. He didn't play great, he didn't play poorly. Much like I said about the NBA summer league a couple of weeks ago, it's good if you play well in the preseason, but you kinda are supposed to. He was going against Baltimore's second string and as such you can't really give him too high of a grade. I didn't expect Clausen to be the Opening Day starter for the Panthers before the game and considering Matt Moore played just fine and didn't get hurt, my expectations didn't change. I do expect Clausen to be in at some point this season, but Moore is going to really have to screw up in the next two games for that to happen sooner rather than later.