Ants Marching

All last week temperatures around here were in the very un-Massachusetts-in-March-like range of the high 70s and low-80s. After we all got spoiled from a few days of wearing shorts and flaunting some very pale skin, the weekend temperatures were a snap back to reality as things got closer to the normal spring-like weather of days which are kind of warm, but not to the point it feels as though we skipped right into summer. Now, some people around here are saddened by this return to normalcy because they like the heat, but not me. First off, loyal readers know I am not a huge fan of extreme heat and am in no rush to get to the days of 90+ degrees. Secondly, I have ulterior motives - I'm kind of hoping this back and forth between unseasonable warm and cooler temperatures has the side effect of killing a lot of insects. Much like the flowers in the garden, the insects appear to have come out a little early due to being fooled by the heat and I'm hoping the shock back to the cold wipes many of them out for me. I'm just not in the mood to deal with them and right now it appears the fight is starting earlier than usual. My main opponent? Ants.

You should know that it is not so much the ants themselves which are bothering me as much as where they keep showing up - my bathroom. I haven't seen a single ant in the kitchen, were the actual food is and where you would think ants would want to go. Instead, for the last week or so every time I have gone in my bathroom for there will be three ants (always three) hanging out in the front of the toilet by the base. I have no idea what is so interesting to them about this particular spot of my bathroom, but as near as I can tell they start gathering there as soon as I leave. No matter how often I get rid of them they come back and gather in the same spot by the time I return. At first I thought it was because I had put down an ant trap and perhaps the ants were trying to get to water so they didn't die of thirst, which I have learned is how mouse poison works. That theory was shot down the second I realized the ants could crawl up the side if they really needed to. However that knowledge just makes their behavior even stranger. The only other thing I can think of is that these ants just like the pattern of tile in my bathroom.

Normally I am not one to go on a big ant-killing spree every spring because while I do not practice Hinduism and therefore do not believe that what you do in this life will have any impact on what you are reincarnated as in your next one, I do believe in hedging my bets just in case I backed the wrong religion. Also, I try not to be a jerk to smaller, weaker things just as a general rule of life. As such I would rather not to kill insects unless they have invaded my area, such as the spiders who insist on building their webs in or near my bedroom. So, what I had been doing the first couple of times was just swiping at the gathering with my foot, sending the ants flying under the heating grate and hoping they would get the message to move along. Even if they had simply stayed there until I left that could have been the end of the story. Sadly for them, it appears these particular ants have no concept of 'personal space'. They would come right back out to apparently check on my progress. Look, I don't ask for much during my time in the bathroom - I simply do not want to have my pants around my ankles and feel something crawling up my leg. I don't feel as though that is a particularly unreasonable request.

It appears the ants are coming up through a hole under the heating unit which has a pipe running through it, but still has just enough room for them to sneak in. While this still doesn't address why they are fascinated with the bathroom and especially that one particular spot, at least I know where they are getting in. I don't think I should fill the hole in because I'm pretty sure that pipe gets very hot in the winter and has a larger hole than necessary for a reason, but at least now I know where to set my ant traps. Also, I've decided to double up on my traps because while I haven't been crawled on very much, it still happened enough that I'm getting those heeby-jeeby moments where I think I can feel something crawling up my leg even though there is nothing there. Doesn't exactly make for a relaxing bathroom experience. Hopefully between a couple of chilly nights and the traps which are now in place these ants will stop showing up and I can do my business in peace. Honestly, if this is what I get for trying to to be nice to some insects than this will be the end of that, karmic reincarnation be damned.