Wishing For Disaster

Ok, new rule: no one is allowed to declare that a season is over anymore. Last week, after yet another storm passed over the area and produced nothing but rain, several people who job it is to know about things like this went on TV and declared that was the last chance we had for a big snow storm, so forget it, winter had been cancelled for the year. Chalk it up to just being one of those things, but at this point there was little to no chance remaining that we would have any serious snowfall this year. Fast forward a few days and those same people are on TV talking about a storm which will arrive in the three separate waves, each of which could potentially drop 3-6 inches of snow on us. (If I didn't know any better I would say the previous week's 'winter is over' declaration was one giant reverse-jinx.) Now, like most of the storms we were supposed to have this year it was much ado about nothing as so far the first two waves of this storm have passed and left me with less than an inch of snow on the lawn, a wet driveway and not much else. I'm certainly not complaining about it, I just wish I could say the same for the people on my TV.

On more than one occasion I have said that the greatest job in America must be that of weatherman in San Diego. You make good money, live in a great city, are on TV and the weather is basically the same every day, which means that the job must also be pretty easy. However, I'm starting to realize that the people who are actually the least likely to agree with me are actual weathermen. It has become clear to me that what these guys really crave more than money is some crazy weather patterns. I don't even think it matter which way the weather pendulum is swinging, they just can't stand it when things are normal. What really gets these weather nerds excited is when something extreme happens, so once it became apparent that this season was not going to be anything like last winter when we got a fresh foot every week, they began to root for this mild weather to continue so we could at least enter the record books for how warm it was. Last night I was watching the news, trying to see just how much more snow we might be looking at during the second wave of the storm and the weatherman on TV was downright sullen over the fact that the trace amount of snow we got on the 29th made this only the second-lowest snow total in history. Honestly, in that moment I think he was seriously mad this was a leap year.

Not that the weathermen are alone in this. The news anchors are just as desperate for something out of the ordinary to beak up the monotony. Sure, they don't have it as bad as the weathermen because they can cover the occasional breaking news story, but if you watch the news lately it is the usual rundown of a boring Presidential Primary season, some local "scandal" which isn't really a scandal but they have to pretend it is to humor the investigative report who broke the story that someone has been over-charging the state by $100 for some service and then the anchors have to tell us about the even more embarrassing 'news' story concerning the national talent show that serves as their lead-in. (A new judge on the "X-Factor" is not actually newsworthy, Fox.) In other words, they were probably dying for a good old-fashioned winter weather emergency. The second the snow started to stick on the roads last night the banner announcing school and other cancellations appeared at the bottom of my TV screen. You could tell they were anxious to get rolling, because I hadn't heard of some of the schools which had closed. I think I could have called in a fake school cancellation and they wouldn't even cared if it was real. (By the way, if you cancelled anything around Boston based on the snow we got last night you are either officially too wimpy to live in this state or were in desperate need for a day off.)

I have to say, as a man who hates having to repeat myself, I can't totally blame them. I mean, who wants to be in a job where you are saying the same thing day after day, week after week? It is one thing to have a boring job, but entirely another to have a boring, repetitive job. (As an aside, if this desire does apply to you, might I suggest getting a job as a traffic reporter in Worcester, MA? You'll need to learn new and inventive ways to tell people that there is nothing going on.) However, on the other hand, when most people have something out of the ordinary happen at their jobs it doesn't result in school cancellations, road closures, property damage and numerous traffic accidents, so maybe it would be nice if they tempered their enthusiasm with a little perspective? After all, it's easy to talk about how terrible a commute is going to be when you're already at work. But when you've been sitting in a traffic jam for 4 hours just trying to get home because of a freak storm the last thing you want to hear is a cheerful voice telling you how pretty the snow looks. I'm just saying, if they do it too much and the story on tomorrow night's news just might be, "Local news reporter's house gets egged."