Weekly Sporties

-Last Sunday it was revealed that new Red Sox manager Bobby Valentine has outlawed alcohol from the clubhouse. Of course, this ban is a direct response to the Red Sox collapse at the end of last season, which was followed by revelations that several players were eating fried chicken and drinking beer on the days they weren't pitching instead of sitting in the dugout and cheering their teammates on. We'll get to whether or not this was necessary in a second, but what is really funny to me are the guys who seemed pissed about it, as though they honestly believed anyone was going to be on their side in this one. Yeah, you only get away with crap like that when you are winning. Fortunately David Ortiz, who I've gotten on in the past for saying he shouldn't be responsible for babysitting other players yet wanting to be consulted on every other move the organization makes, appears to see the light on this one. "We're not here to drink," he said. "We're here to play baseball. This ain't no bar. If you want to drink it, drink at home." While I applaud Ortiz for finally having a position, I think the entire gesture was totally for show. Fans don't care is players have a couple after the game as long as they win and don't drive home. Let me tell you something, Bobby, if this team finds itself 10 games out at the All-Star break, you're going to be the one who needs a stiff drink after the game.

-One of the people who agrees with me that this ban on alcohol was nothing but a move to appease fans is former Sox manager Terry Francona, currently an analyst for ESPN. Now, even though he agrees with me (which normally I am all for), I have to say that I don't think it is wise for Terry to be commenting about anything the Sox do for the next couple of months. Let them get into the season and then you can question some of the on-field moves they make, but right now it feels too fresh and any opinions he offers about the Sox are going to feel like they are coming from a scorned ex-girlfriend. Right now Boston fans are on Terry's side and think he got a raw deal in how he was let go. But, in the long run the fans are going to side with the Red Sox and if they start winning while he keeps offering what they deem to be too much criticism they will turn on Francona in a heartbeat (a phenomenon I refer to as the "sympathy boomerang"). That would be a shame considering all he did for this team. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame Terry. He was asked a question and he answered it, as he is being paid to do. I just think ESPN shouldn't be putting him in that position. How would they like it if someone they just fired were asked to give an opinion about a few of their inter-office habits? Considering how many books ESPN has tried to squash about that very topic over the years, I think we already have our answer to that one.

-On Friday news broke that a 'bounty' system has been in place for the last couple of years with the New Orleans Saints. Basically, defensive players would earn cash bonuses for big hits which resulted in turnovers, but the real money came if they knocked an opposing player out of the game, especially quarterbacks. Reports are out there of a pool as high as $50,000 during the 2009 playoffs, which was when the Saints won the Super Bowl. (First off, I never got the bounty system. How about making plays which cause turnovers because it's your job and you're already getting paid millions of dollars to do so? Or, how about you do it because if you don't your ass is gonna get cut? But, I digress.) The reason this is a scandal is the NFL frowns on this kind of thing. They say it is because they want to put more emphasis on player safety, but count me among those who thinks it is really because they don't like teams to have off-the-salary-cap payments to players. Trust me, they are way more worried about teams circumventing the salary cap with illegal bonuses than losing a couple players to concussions. Also, I feel like this is another one of those things which all teams do, but the Saints had the unfortunate timing of this report coming out during the offseason when there is nothing else to talk about, so they are going to get extra punishment. They say timing is everything in life and the Saints timing, as it has so often in the past, sucks.

-While we're talking about normally dysfunctional franchises, the Clippers had some bad press this week when it was revealed that they have asked their resident super-fan "Clipper Darrell" to stop referring to himself by that moniker. You see, "Clipper Darrell" has been going to Clippers games for the last decade or so while wearing a half red/half blue suit and trying to encourage the crowd. He's exactly the kind of high-energy guy who always gets himself on the JumboTron and who the casual fans love (and who the die-hards hate). But, lately he allegedly started showing up for functions and representing himself as a part of the organization, which was when the team stepped in and asked him to stop. Now, you can easily see the Clippers' side in this story: this guy is acting as though he is affiliated with the team and charging appearance fees, which means that some people might be confuse and think he represents the Clippers. If he gets into trouble suddenly the organization would have to vouch for him. However, that argument is pretty much shot down when you remember this is the Clippers we are talking about. They have had 2 winning seasons in about 50 years and their owner is a certified scumbag. They should be happy that anyone wants to associate themselves with the Clippers and definitely not shunning a guy who has been doing it for a decade. Suddenly they get a couple of All-Stars and they're too good for a self-made super-fan? Let's see how many of those new-found fans will still be around if the Lakers get a couple of All-Stars at the trading deadline. They need to remember they are one Chris Paul ACL tear away from playing in half-empty arenas and begging "Clipper Darrell" to come back.

-The other NBA news to come towards the end of the week was the report that the Celtics are "actively" shopping Rajon Rondo in an effort to trade him. The Celtics have denied that report (sort of) saying that they aren't shopping Rondo, but other teams have called to ask about him and they are listening. Oh yeah, because that's much better. Now, if you were wondering why a 26 year-old, 2-time All-Star point guard making reasonable money in a league in which point guards are more valuable than ever might be easily had in a trade, it is because apparently he's a little hard to deal with. You know what I bet will make the moody guy happy? Including him in all sorts of rumors. Surely, that will snap him out of it. Now, this is not the first time I have heard that Rondo can be a bit of a head-case and he's also the most valuable chip the Celtics have to play with at the moment, so in that regard I can understand why he's available. However, the problem is at this point I think GM Danny Ainge has over-played his hand. Rondo has been dangled too many time and at some point when this stuff keeps happening with regularity you just have to pull the trigger or risk him poisoning the locker room. I just hope that if a deal does go down Danny reverses his recent trend and actually gets someone good in return, because otherwise the next person shipped out is going to be him.

-Normally there isn't much to talk about coming out of NBA All-Star weekend, but we actually had a bit of a controversy at the end of the game. For those of you who don't watch the All-Star game (Not that I expect anyone to. I'm an NBA fan and even I don't watch it.), the game is played without any defense for three and a half quarters and then everyone goes all out for the last five minutes. So, when the East was down 2 with just a few seconds to go it was actually kind of an interesting moment to see who became the alpha-player in a game full of them. The ball ended up in the hands of LeBron James, being guarded by Kobe Bryant. Bryant was allegedly taunting James to shoot it, but James instead tried to pass it to an open teammate, the ball was intercepted and game over. Now, the people who are James fans don't see what the big deal is, arguing it was just an exhibition game. But the people who don't like LeBron see it as a microcosm of his entire career - afraid to take the big shot in the big moment. Personally, I'm with the second group. I don't care that he passed the shot up in an All-Star game, but I feel like it speaks more about who he is as a player. You know damn well Jordan would have taken it. I guess my point is this: James has "Chosen One" tattooed on his back and while talk may be cheap, ink never shuts up. People who think that highly of themselves (and want others to as well) should never pass the ball in those situations. James had better win a title and soon, or else the legion of doubters are only going to get louder.

-During the long delay of NASCAR's Daytona 500 following a fiery crash, driver Bad Keselowski took to Twitter to amuse himself. (Hey, he had almost three hours to kill and teams can't work on their cars during red flags, so what did you want the guy to do?) He took pictures with other drivers and answered fans questions while waiting for the track to be cleaned up. There is just one problem: NASCAR has a rule against drivers having electronic devices in their cars because they don't want them getting outside information during a race. However, since he didn't actually get any useful information NASCAR ruled there was not going to be any penalty for his Tweeting. That news wasn't surprising considering NASCAR has some of the most fan-friendly marketing techniques out there and if they could figure out ways for drivers to Tweet every time they came in for a pit stop NASCAR would probably encourage it. Still, I was left wondering what Brad was doing having his phone in the car in the first place? These cars are tuned and weighed to the gram, so even though a phone doesn't weigh much, it probably weighs enough to be noticeable. Doesn't seem like the most aerodynamic accessory, is my point. But, as long as he's not texting at 200 mph I guess it works out well for everyone.