You've Already Won

The country is currently in the grips of lottery fever, as the Mega Millions jackpot is up to a record $640 million. The first four stories on this evening's national news were all about tonight's drawing - how the money gets distributed between the winner, the seller and the state, what various people on the street say they would do with it, the best way to ensure a victory and how long the waits were at various locations across the country. But I think the stories which are annoying me the most are the ones about people who are already rich buying tickets. All over the country celebrities have been snapped buying a tickets for their chance to win. Now, I get that even if you are already a millionaire the thought of getting a few hundred million dollars after taxes would be appealing. However, the idea of this money going to someone for whom it wouldn't actually change all that much about their day-to-day lives is downright annoying. Think about it, how would this money change the life of someone like one of the Jonas Brothers, who was seen buying a ticket? What, would it mean the mansion they bought last week was paid off this year instead of next? Look, you people already won at life - let someone else have a turn.

They say the odds of you winning tonight's drawing is roughly equivalent to getting a hold in one, being struck by lightning and then getting attacked by both a bear and a shark, all in one afternoon. So, the odds that some random celebrity will win are pretty low. But it is even the fact that they are playing which annoys me. I mean, how greedy can you be? For example, Washington Wizards forward Chris Singleton, who is currently in the first year of a 5-year deal which will pay him roughly $11 million, tweeted that he was going to buy $10,000 worth of lottery tickets, deeming it "an investment". Ok, I'm sure I don't have enough time to list all the ways this angers me, so I'll just hit the biggest ones. First off, considering Singleton was the 18th pick in the draft and is averaging a whopping 4.5 ppg on a team which will be lucky to win 20 games this year, maybe he shouldn't press his luck. Seriously, he's lucky he hasn't been arrested for stealing money. Secondly, if you really want to be richer, why not take that $10,000 and invest it? Even if you find the worst investment analyst in history he will turn you a larger profit than $0, which is what you will end up with when you don't win tonight's lottery.

I think it is the amount of money he is spending on tickets which flabbergasts me. If you have $10,000 to spend on lottery tickets, than you probably have too much money to begin with. Honestly, do you know how many people would be thrilled to win a $10,000 lottery drawing? That amount could help change some one else's life and Singleton is essentially wiping his butt with it. My guess is this lottery money would just be wasted on him. Of course, Singleton is not the only athlete who was seen buying tickets. The Dodgers' Matt Kemp, who just signed a contract for $160 million, took a picture holding a handful of lottery tickets. Really, dude? Kemp's contract will take him through age 34, at which point he will most likely sign another huge contract and earn well over $200 million playing baseball. That means $350 million wouldn't even be that big a deal for a guy like him, so why is he even bothering? He either wants to piss us off or he has no concept of how much people will hate him if he wins. Here is what I think the rule should be: if the amount of money being given away is seen as a staggering amount, but won't add any commas to your bank account total than you should not be allowed to buy a ticket. I feel like that is fair enough.

Before I get accused of hating on the rich or engaging in some kind of class warfare, just know that I'm not mad at these guys for being rich - I'm annoyed at them for being greedy. What ever happened to being happy with what you have? Celebrities already get paid a lot of money to not work very hard and should quit while they are ahead. I mean, it is not like they are digging ditches or curing cancer, so why not be thankful people want to give you a lot of money to do something which could probably be done by someone just as talented as you, but who simply never got the right break? Just by getting to where you are you've already won one kind of lottery. And on top of that a lot of the things celebrities buy end up being comped anyway, so what do they even need the money for? Besides, I feel as thought it is human nature to root for the underdogs in life. After all, this is what I do when I watch sports - if I don't have a horse in the race I root for the team which has been down on their luck recently. I mean, no one outside of the city where the team is located roots for dynasties, so why should I want someone who already has more money than they know what to do with to get even more money? Let someone else see how good the good life really is.