Code Breaker

If you have ever spent any time looking for a new place to live, you probably learned pretty quickly that the majority of real estate listings are written in code. At its core selling real estate is nothing more than face-to-face marketing at its finest, so just like Pepsi needs a catch-phrase when they launch a new product, real estate agents are always looking for new buzz words to put in their listings to reel people in. These agents know that no one is going to waste their time even looking at a dump in a bad section of town, so they tell you the place is a "fixer-upper in an up-and-coming" neighborhood. An apartment is no longer a cramped studio, instead it is a "micro-condo designed to help you rid the clutter out of your life" and that house is no longer old, it now has "character and history." Technically they aren't lying to you, but it still doesn't feel like the most honest way of doing business. The problem is that the only way to learn how to break the code is by finding yourself at one of these really bad apartments which the ad made you believe was going to be the best deal ever.

Of course, this tactic of attempting to mask a bad trait by dressing it up to sound like a good one is hardly exclusive to real estate. You see it in music with the band who isn't unsigned by a major label, they are just sticking true to their indie roots. You see it in sports when a quarterback doesn't have a weak throwing arm, he manages the game situations. You even see it in the dating world, because that girl on the singles website isn't a psychotic animal right activist who thinks blowing up a science lab is perfectly acceptable, she's simply passionate about the issues which are important to her. But at the end of the day, nowhere is this practice more relentless than in the world of advertising. Cars no longer have weak engines - they are fuel-efficient and a cheap couch should not be considered flimsy but lightweight and easy to move around the house. After a while you nearly become numb to some of the dumb things ads want you to believe they think are positive attributes. But, the other day I saw an ad featuring one of these buzz/code words and it actually made me laugh out loud.

It was an ad for Ace Hardware stores and featured a man lamenting that it takes so long to find things in those huge warehouse stores like Home Depot and Lowe's. That is why he wanted everyone to go shop at Ace, as their stores are "Speedy-Sized" and would get you back to your weekend sooner. That may be the most creative description of "small and with less of a selection" that I have ever heard. First off, I regularly shopped at an Ace Hardware when working on the beach house, as for a long time it was the closest hardware store, so I have to question their "speedy" claim. I have found having to go to a second hardware store when Ace doesn't have what you are looking for is not exactly a time-saver. But even with that I can admit they are kind of in a difficult position, as they don't have the space to compete with the super stores, yet they are a big enough chain of stores they can't be considered a small, local business everyone in the community is happy to pay a little extra to support. As such they seem to fall into the hazy middle ground. Still, acting as though you aren't carry the same amount of product as though it is on purpose is amusing.

I don't want anyone to think I'm picking on marketing people. I took my fair share of marketing classes in college so I know that while it might often be said that if you don't have anything nice to say than you shouldn't say anything at all, when your business demands you say something you occasionally have to work extra hard to find that positive aspect. Still, the ads that I think carry the most weight are the ones in which the marketing teams have highlighted the product's actual assets, not desperately tried to make themselves measure up against the competition. I feel like all that does is give the other guys free advertising in your commercial. If you can't beat the other store's selection, then you should make sure you carry higher quality items and let that be the focus of your marketing campaign. Stop hiding behind buzz words and let your assets really be an asset, because that will be the thing which really brings in loyal customers who appreciate honesty. Also, before you rush out to see that "cozy" apartment, be aware that it really means you'll be living in someone's closet.