Parking Wars

I vividly remember the first piece of negative feedback I ever got from a stranger about something I had written. I was writing for the school paper and wrote an opinion piece about how unfair I found it that as a student who lived in the dorms and therefore already paying more than the students who commuted to school I was expected to pay hundreds of dollars extra per semester to park my car a mile off campus in a seedy location, while the students who commuted paid $50 to park 100 years away. I wasn't looking for free parking, I just wanted everyone to pay the same rate. The letter which arrived in my mailbox proceeded to call me a brat who needed to grow up and then went on to agree with everything I had said. (It had also included a copy of my article, you know, in case I had forgotten what I had written.) Keep in mind this was 1998, when letters to the editor were actually letters, so this person had put a lot of effort in. But, it was also unsigned and with no return address, proving that even before the time of internet commenting negative people were cowards. Anyway, it was at that time I learned a couple key life lessons: 1. Angry people aren't going to let a little thing like agreeing with you get in the way of their angry letters. 2. Parking is always a touchy subject. Thus, it is with a bit of trepidation that I approach today's subject.

Saturday I went on a Flat Stanley adventure. If you've never heard of such a thing, Flat Stanley was originally the subject of a children's book but became a world-wide phenomenon. Now kids cut out and color in their own Flat Stanley and mail them around the world, where people take pictures of Flat at famous locations and then send him back. For those of you who aren't much for reading, think of it like the Roaming Gnome, but easier to ship. The point is I was showing him the sights of our fair city on Saturday, which meant a long day in Boston. Not wanting to drive in to fight both Red Sox and Bruins game day traffic, I was trying desperate to find a lot just outside the city where I might be able to leave my car for a few hours without having to pay $50 for the opportunity. Eventually I found one and the day went off without a hitch. But what really killed me was when I finally got into the city and was taunted by row after row of open parking meters. You see, in the last couple of years a new policy has gone into effect which states that in most locations you can not remain at the same meter for more than two hours. It doesn't matter if you have an armful of quarters and could easily add more time, you can't stay in longer or else you will be hit with a $25 fine.

This might just be the most annoying thing I have ever heard. I understand that what this rule is attempting to do is prevent someone from squatting on a spot for weeks or months at a time. That is fine. But just because you don't want one car hogging a spot for days at a time that doesn't mean you have to cut the time people are allowed to occupy a parking space down to less time than it takes to watch "The Godfather". You can't do anything in Boston in under two hours, so how about we meet in the middle somewhere and say a 5-hour limit? I'm even willing to compromise and say you don't have to re-program the meters - people will still only be able to purchase parking in two hour chunks, but they don't have to move their cars when they go to buy more. I'm happy to keep filling my meter, I just feel like as long as I am able to pay up I should be able to keep my car in the same spot. So, it's the moving of the cars which really gets to me, you see. Few things annoy me more than rules which people expect you to take seriously even though they are easily circumvented through minimal effort. If you are lucky enough to find two open spots together you just have to roll forward 15 feet to avoid a fine. That would be like saying that robbery isn't a crime as long as only take one thing and your buddy takes one thing. But if you take two items, you're going to jail. My point is that any rule which can be avoided by moving slightly to the left isn't much of a rule in my book.

I'm sure that part of this policy has to do with the Boston sports teams as well. The City doesn't want every space around the stadiums to be taken all day long, because that would essentially kill all the businesses around the stadiums on game days, so they instead push people to park their cars in the private lots. This is idiotic - not just because the city sees none of that money but also it doesn't seem like a sound business plan, as one parking ticket will bring as much money as 20 hours of legally-paid parking at a meter would. I say let people park at meters, knowing they can't come out during games and will eventually get ticketed. On top of that, if you have ever ridden public transportation near the stadiums on the day of the game you would know that those trains are beyond packed and half those people never have the chance to swipe their cards, meaning they are riding for free. Therefore, by having those people take the T versus drive in it is actually costing the city money. A few parking tickets on the cars of people who let their meters expire would go a long way to recouping that difference.

I simply feel as though this policy of not being able to stay in the same parking spot for more than two hours is essentially forced sharing. As if it is somehow my fault that there are not enough parking spaces in this city to go around. (Maybe every street in Southie shouldn't be "Resident Parking Only"?) I'm sure this is the part where the people who came up with the policy would point out that if this practice was not in place than I would not be able to find a space to park in the first place. That could be true, but since I am an adult I know that some things are harder to get than others and occasionally you have to wait a while to get them, so I would find a spot eventually. But knowing that also means that once you do get them you shouldn't have to let them go just to make everyone else happy. Sounds to me like the parking czars in this city are the ones who really need to grow up. Fortunately for me, I still have that letter to the editor I got so many years ago and with a few modifications I could easily forward it to them. After all, I would take the time to write out an entirely new letter, but it seems like every time I start to get into a groove with my thoughts I have to go and more my truck again.