Waited Long Enough

Just a couple days ago I wrote about the newly-announced "Anchorman" sequel and how I found it odd that they would make it now, considering the movie came out in 2004 and the cries for a second adventure in the life of Ron Burgundy stopped around 2009. Well, if I thought that was weird than you can imagine how confused I really am over yesterday's announcement that Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels had signed on to make a "Dumb and Dumber" sequel. Look, I enjoyed the silly humor of the original immensely (and still do) but it should also be pointed out that I had to be driven to the theater to see it, because the movie came out in 1994. If you thought the "Anchorman" sequel was about 5 years too late, the momentum for another "Dumb and Dumber" movie stopped around the time we were all worried about the Y2K virus. And frankly, given the run of movies the Farrelly brothers have pumped out in the last decade, I'm not totally sure you can trust them with this movie, even if they were the ones who penned the original. (Seriously, go to their IMDB page and find me a good movie from this century. I'll wait.) I know piles of money can change everything, but I still can't figure out why this is happening now.

They say repetition is what happens when all the other good ideas are taken. Well, this "Dumb and Dumber" announcement comes not only on the heels of the news about "Anchorman" but also the fact that "Ghostbusters 3" is supposedly ready to go as soon as everyone can talk Bill Murray into appearing in it and they even have a script ready in case he doesn't. So, I guess it is safe to say that 2013 will be the year of the long-overdue sequel. Also, that people in Hollywood are officially out of fresh ideas (though, we kind of knew that part already). There used to be a belief that if a sequel wasn't made in a timely fashion than the ship had sailed. Clearly that belief has fallen by the wayside. Anyway, with that in mind, I thought I would fire off some movies which probably should have been had sequels made before now but better late than never, right?

-Bull Durham This is another movie which reportedly has been green-lit and then cancelled half a dozen times. Obviously you can't expect the original stars to be back as players, so perhaps a new story line where they are managers or coaches? I'm sure Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon could be professional enough to mask the obvious awkwardness and I'm sure Kevin Costner would jump at the chance to do yet another sports movie. Honestly, there hasn't been a good baseball movie released in a while, so aren't we just about due?

-Godfather 2 I think a final installment of the Godfather series would be great for the fans. Now, the math majors in the audience may be confused and think that a sequel to a sequel would make it a trilogy, which already happened. Well, the reason we need a sequel to the second one is because "Godfather 3" never happened. Do you hear me? That monstrosity never occurred. Like a group of teenagers who accidentally kill someone and then tried to cover it up at the start of a horror movie, we all agreed to act like it never happened. This is just like what Sly Stallone did when he tried to act as thought "Rocky 5" never happened by naming the last movie "Rocky Balboa" instead of "Rocky 6". That is what is happening here. We just name it something like "Godfather: Legacy" and be done with it. That is the plan and you will stick to it!

-Billy Madison Perhaps the last good movie Adam Sandler made, so it is due for a sequel treatment. I'm sure he would wreck it somehow, probably by putting Kevin James, David Spade and Rob Schneider in it and then making Billy be all annoying and self-pitying because he is just so successful at teaching and it makes him feel bad. But if we don't let Sandler write it, I'm thinking the plot could revolve around Billy and his teaching career where he is being sent to a really rough high school. Think of it like "Dangerous Minds", but with more comedy. And if he's really being annoying the audience can start rooting for the character to get stabbed or something.

-Old School Well, if we're finally getting around to sequels that should have been made as soon as the last one came out of video, this is about as good a candidate as any. By agreeing to do another "Anchorman" Will Ferrell has clearly gotten over his problem with doing sequels, so why not go all the way in and start to franchise all his old movie roles? Seriously, it is not like we even need Luke Wilson or Vince Vaughn if they start asking for too much money. Just give me more "Frank the Tank" and you've got box-office gold.

-Beetlejuice This would have gotten the world really excited back in the early 90s, but now so much time has passed the only people who would be excited by this movie now are the creepy people who still think Beetlejuice is a great Halloween costume. Still, all you really need is the title character to make this sequel work, so as long as you can get Michael Keaton (and I'm sorry, does he seem busy at the moment to you?) you can can move forward with the same title. Hell, it's a Tim Burton movie, so simply promise him he can put Johnny Depp and his wife in it and I'm sure he'll be on board. Just hurry up and green-light this movie so it will distract Burton before he goes and makes yet another terrible remake of a once-loved movie.