Weekly Sporties

-I'm beginning to think Bobby Valentine needs chaos to be happy. That is the only explanation I can come up with as to why, after a couple of big wins over the Rays last weekend in which the early-season turmoil of a 1-5 start finally appeared to be behind them, the new Red Sox manager went on Channel 7 and gave an interview in which he said third baseman Kevin Youkilis doesn't appear to be as physically and emotionally into the season as he has in the past. What followed was the inevitable shit-storm from the media, wondering why Valentine was publicly calling out Youkilis, why he was doing it now and questioning what kind of management style this was. Now, the ironic part about this is that Valentine is not wrong. Youkilis had a bad season last year and has gotten off to a slow start this year. There is an above-average chance he is simply done as an elite player. Still, after years of a players-first manager like Terry Francona, this had to be a shock to the locker room. If nothing else it probably not the way to motivate Youkilis to get going. Now, it is possible Valentine is trying to unite a locker room which was very fractured last year by making himself everyone's enemy. That has worked before (most famously on the 1980 USA Olympic Hockey Team) but I have my doubts about that strategy working as well when the players make more money than the manager. You lose the entire locker room in the pros and it just gets you fired. I know it is extremely early, but I think it is safe to say the Bobby Valentine experiment is not going to last very long.

-Of course, it could just be that Valentine is taking his management cues from the rest of the front office. Before Friday's game there was a celebration of the 100th year of Fenway Park. As part of the celebration every single player who ever played for the Red Sox was invited back. However, one notable name was left off the guest list: Theo Epstein. It took until Wednesday for someone to bring up the fact that the former Sox and current Cubs GM was not invited to be part of the celebration. Owner John Henry said he was unaware of the omission, but seeing as how other former Sox GMs were not invited it should not be seen as anything personal against Epstein. That could very well be true and given that Theo is trying to run the Cubs it is very likely he wouldn't have come anyway. Also, Epstein didn't leave here on the best of terms and then was locked in a prolonged negotiation with the Sox over compensation from the Cubs, so he may not have wanted to be back so soon. However, the way it ended doesn't change the fact he was key part in building two World Series-winning teams. Even if his role has been over-blown by some through the years, to not give him the option to attend comes across as petty and a little sad (Jose Canseco was there, for God's sake). Theo was finally invited Thursday night but that was way too little, way too late. Making it worse, this comes on the heels of an offseason in which the front-office had to defend itself against charges of leaking stories to the Boston Globe which called into question the character of Terry Francona after he left, which backfired so badly that Francona got the loudest cheer yesterday. I'm sure in the back of their minds the ownership group was afraid Theo would get louder applause than they would. Well, there are simple ways to alleviate that fear - stop screwing up or start winning games. Sadly, neither is looking very likely at the moment.

-Another guy who could use some good PR right now is Wisconsin basketball coach Bo Ryan. When redshirt freshman Jarrod Uthoff went to Ryan and told him he wanted to transfer, Ryan had a few restrictions on the schools he would let Uthoff out of his scholarship to play for. This is not uncommon, as the last thing college coaches want is for players to transfer within the conference and come back to haunt them. So, not allowing him to transfer to a Big-10 school was expected. But then Ryan said he also that not only was Uthoff banned from transfer to any school in the Big-10, but also any school in the ACC, as well as Marquette, Florida or Iowa State. All in all, that meant 25 schools were on his restricted list. When word of all these restrictions slipped out Ryan and Wisconsin were immediately under fire from the national media, who quickly pointed out that Wisconsin football has twice benefited from quarterbacks transferring in from other programs and no one could tell Ryan where he could or could not go if he wanted to switch jobs. After just one days of taking heat and being called everything from a bully and a control freak to a hypocrite, Ryan lifted most of the restrictions on where Uthoff can go, allowing him to go anywhere outside the Big-10. You know, it just goes to show that the every now and again the power of public shaming comes in handy.

-When Southern Methodist University fired coach Matt Doherty after another bad season, some people thought the school would have problems attracting a big-name coach. After all, SMU is a football-first school and is about to move to the Big East, not exactly a conference where bad teams can get better in a hurry. That is why I was surprised when Larry Brown, the only man to win an NCAA and NBA championship as a coach, agreed to become the head man at SMU. But while I was surprised, I think this is going to work out great for both sides. SMU has no real basketball tradition, which is perfect because Larry has and will coach just about everywhere, so he has no need for traditions. Also, Larry never stays anywhere more than 4 years and since he's 71 years old SMU probably doesn't want him hanging around for too long anyway. He'll be there for a couple years, attract a little attention and sell some tickets simply because of his name recognition, transition the school into the basketball-first Big East, get a few solid recruiting classes to build up a nice foundation for the future of the program and be on his merry way, probably saying he has retired before taking another job 20 minutes later. Just remember, SMU, Larry doesn't allow kissing on the lips.

-Still, Brown has no pressure to win because SMU is one of those schools that only has two sports: football and spring football. Another school with that singular mindset is the reigning National Champions, Alabama. The Crimson Tide were getting ready for spring practice the other day and had their new trophy on display. In case you have never seen it, the National Championship trophy is a crystal football. During the day one of the player's father got his foot caught on the rug, tripped and knocked the trophy off its pedestal, where it fell to the floor. Being made of crystal, it naturally smashed into many pieces. Now, the trophy costs $30,000, which is nothing to a program like Alabama. I'm sure they will have a new one delivered by the end of the month. However, this is the second time this has happened, as Florida's crystal football met a similar fate a few years ago. Which begs the question: why hasn't anyone redesigned this thing yet? Seriously, doesn't anyone see the obvious design flaw of something so fragile being handled by a bunch of football players, who are not known for their light touches? I know that crystal looks better, but sometimes you have to forgo looks for practicality and this may be one of those times. Or at least start including Super-Glue as part of the trophy ceremony.

-When Sean Payton announced that he was going to appeal his year-long suspension one of the reasons he said he was doing it was to clarify what he could and could not do while suspended. Well, last week his suspension was upheld (shocking, considering he was appealing to the same man who decided his punishment) and along with that came an answer: as long as he is suspended Payton is not allowed to have contact with anyone from the NFL. He can't call, he can't email. According to the League, he can't even run next door and say hello to his neighbor, who just so happens to be the Saints GM. I know Commissioner Roger Goodell is pissed about the bounty scandal and even more pissed about being lied to about it, but this seems extreme. I mean, it is one thing to not allow him to talk to Saints personnel about work, but to not allow him to call friends he has on other teams seems unfair. He is suspended, not in solitary confinement. I just think if he accidentally runs into one of his players at the supermarket he shouldn't have to worry that he's never going to get to coach again. However, I'm also not saying Payton should try and run the Saints while in exile because if he gets caught doing that his one-year suspension will be stretched even further (and the NFL would absolutely found out if he tried). Just to be safe, I would recommend that Sean take on that oldest of conspiracy theorist mottoes: If you think they are watching you, it is because they are.

-The reason Payton would never get away with secretly talking to one of his players is that NFL players, coaches and executives are some of the worst gossips in the world. If he talked to someone the League would find out, because there is always one set of loose lips. And NFL lips are never looser than the week before the NFL draft. The hot 'rumor' this week that Robert Griffin III, widely assumed to be the second pick in the draft by the Washington Redskins after Andrew Luck goes to the Colts, is a selfish player who isn't as polished as he needs to be to play at the NFL level. It's funny, you never heard any of this stuff when 20 teams were clamoring to trade up and draft him. That tells me this rumor could be coming from one of three places: one of the teams who didn't get him and are spreading rumors as sour grapes, the Colts as they try to convince their fanbase they are taking the right guy or it could even be the Redskins, attempting to lower expectations (which, by the way, won't work). The point is that while you should rarely listen to anything a person working for an NFL team tells you, you really shouldn't listen the week before the Draft. Again, it is nice to know that no matter how old you get or how much money your business makes, the rules of high school will always apply.