Mark Your Calendars

For the last two days I have seen a crawl along the bottom of my television screen, informing me that this is apparently "Earth Week." As such many news channels are taking this opportunity to turn their logos green and run canned stories about new recycling techniques, what you can do on a daily basis to cut down on your carbon footprint and all the jobs created by "green" companies. On the surface this sounds all well and good, but it still confuses me. Not the reason why the news stations are doing this - I have no doubt they are desperate to put off covering the election until we're at least within six months of it. I'm just wondering where the hell "Earth Week" came from. Apparently this is all part of the run-up to "Earth Day" which is on Sunday, but I don't remember anyone voting on this kind of thing. I mean, who decided we needed to expand this to an entire week? (Don't worry, I'm not about to take some big pro-pollution stance if that is what you were worried about.) I just think that when people are going to be expected to celebrate something for more than a day there should be some kind of committee involved. 

I'm well aware that every day of the year brings with it some kind of holiday to someone. If you don't believe me just check Twitter in the morning to see what is trending. For example, today, April 18th, is National Golf Day, International Jugglers Day, Newspaper Columnist Day, Army Day in Iran and Zimbabwe's Independence Day (given their respective levels of importance, I probably should have led with that one). First off, I want to commend these organizations for being willing to share their spot on the calendar with others. You wouldn't normally associate jugglers with Iran or golfers with Zimbabwe, yet here they are. I guess when the options are to share or you don't get a day at all, it would be a pretty easy call. Not that you have to worry about not getting the day that you have your heart set on, as it is apparently rather easy to declare one day a year as special for your particular hobby. As well it should be. Seriously, I don't think we have nearly enough holidays around these parts. That's is not where my issue lies. I just happen to believe there is a big difference between needing one day to celebrate your skill versus needing seven of them.

However, it doesn't appear to be much harder to get a week for your cause than it does a day and that is wrong. For example, while this is "Earth Week" it is also "Organize Your Files Week". While I appreciate the symmetry of a week of heightened recycling awareness coinciding with a week where people are likely going to the throwing out a lot of paper, I again wonder just how this week was branded without anyone so much as sending out a memo. My point is that a week is a long time to spend celebrating anything, even when it is a happy issue. (For example, even the majority of Jews don't celebrate every night of Hanukkah.) A week of being reminded that if you don't cut up your plastic can rings they could potentially kill every seagull in a 14 mile radius is downright depressing. But, lest you think I'm picking on any one particular organization or religion, just know I can't stand the people who think their birthday needs to be an celebrated for an entire week either. Just because you happened to have been born the same day as roughly 25 million other people that does not mean I should be expected to buy all your drinks for a week. You get your actual birthday or the closest Saturday - that is it. 

I just think before something gets celebrated for a full week we should start out with a one-day trial period to see how it goes. Sure, Earth Day can be expanded into an entire week because it has been around for nearly 40 years, so you know it isn't some flash-in-the-pan fad. I just would have liked a little more warning. But, next week is "National Karaoke Week." This is exactly the kind of thing the screening process I am talking about would prevent. I hate karaoke and I hate the people who insist that everyone has to participate even more. (Seriously, why don't you back off, self-appointed Fun Police? Maybe my idea of a good time doesn't involved standing in front of a group of strangers, singing off-key and desperately wishing "Don't Stop Believing" was a couple verses shorter.) All I'm saying is that it seems awfully presumptuous to think we will automatically like your holiday choice enough to want an entire week of it. So far the only week I have seen everyone get behind without question is "Shark Week". So, unless your week also features awesome footage of sharks jumping out of water or people swimming with some other kind of deadly animal, I suggest you start with a getting a day and then take a wait-and-see approach.