Hope She Didn't Sign The Card

A couple weeks ago I had a post regarding an email I got about a basketball-themed cruise in which you would get to pall around with several basketball players for a week and I thought that sounded like my worst nightmare come to life. I just don't think athletes have anything particularly interesting to say outside of sports and the idea of having to make small talk with them in the buffet line would more far too tedious to make the trip worth the money. In thinking about it since that post went up, this policy also extends to pretty much all celebrities. I really don't think I would have much to talk about with an actor and since they spend their lives saying things other people wrote I don't know how many original things they would have to say for themselves. We would be coming at it from totally different starting points. I don't blame them because I think their perspective has been so bent out of whack by years of being handed everything they ask for the second the ask for it that it is impossible for them to remain normal. That is why I have never understood the people who are willing to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars to have celebrities to come by a party they are throwing. I guess I can understand the appeal of being able to rub elbows with someone famous, but to me that needs to happen organically for the story to be interesting. Just paying someone to show up doesn't lend to much of a story. Apparently a few of these celebrities are the ones who should be concerned about who else may be on the guest list.

Earlier this week singer and actress Jennifer Lopez got into a bit of trouble after someone got word that she was on camera singing happy birthday to Turkmenistan leader Gurbanguly Berdimuhamedow, whose country has been recognized as one of the worst violators of human rights. (And to think I have trouble trying to keep the rhythm of the song when the birthday party is being held for more than two people. That last name is a mouthful.) The party was being thrown by a Chinese oil company and Lopez says she was asked at the last minute to sing happy birthday and had no knowledge of conditions in Turkmenistan but if she did she would have refused. (I would also like to add that she was being paid over a million dollars to attend and may have felt like she didn't have a choice in the matter.) Still, in a day when people are so image-conscious you would think someone who worked for her may have asked a couple of questions before she took the stage. Of course, Lopez is hardly the first celebrity this has happened to, because a few years ago Mariah Carey and Nelly performed at a party being thrown for Gaddafi and I feel like that is a far worse offense because that guy was a pest since the 80s. I know these guys spent most of that decade in a recording booth but you think like to think they would have caught a headline somewhere along the way.

Now, as amusing as I find this story I would like a few of the people bashing Lopez on the internet for being so stupid to back off simply based on the fact that they would have done the same thing. Seriously, among the many reason I can stand the internet sometimes is the fact that people sit back and judge without the slightest hint of perspective. Just being in the same room as someone doesn't mean you agree with their political views and just because you sing Happy Birthday to someone it does not mean you are friends. I mean, how many times have you been at an office work party when someone casually mention it's Dave from accounting's birthday and suddenly you are expected to sing along like Dave is your best friend, even though for all you know his last name is actually "from accounting". That's all this was, just with better food. All I'm saying is that social pressure can be a hell of a thing. On top of that, America is a great country but we are not exactly known for our expertise regarding foreign politics or geography, so I am willing to bet a large sum of money that 90% of the people who think Lopez committed a crime equal to treason didn't know who Berdimuhamedow was before this story and still can't find Turkmenistan on a map. Therefore, I kind of need you to shut up. For all she knew this was just another high-paying gig in a foreign country and she can't be arrested for that.

Still, I think it is time for celebrities of all fame levels to recognize a simple truth - the world is not nearly as big as you think it is. Between Facebook, Twitter and YouTube, if you do something embarrassing in a foreign country, whether it is sell out and appear in a commercial to endorse a strange product or sing happy birthday to a man who is accused of ignoring labor laws, people back in America are going to hear about it very soon. With that in mind maybe they should start employing an assistant whose job it is to check into the other people attending these parties they are booked to appear at or, better yet, just stop blindly agreeing to be in the same room as a group of strangers as long as the party host is willing to meet your asking price. (Plus, shouldn't a star like Jennifer Lopez be above this? I would expect this kind of whoring from a Kardashian.) I would like to think stuff like this will put an end to the practice of paying a celebrity to show up at your event, but I really doubt it. There is just too much money to be taken from people who are too star-struck to recognize this is a horrible way to spend their money. The good news is that there is one silver lining to this whole thing - if I ran into Jennifer Lopez at a party she may actually have a story to tell that I find interesting.