Thursday, April 8, 2010

A Testament To Not Getting Fired

Last night Don Nelson won his 1,333 game as a Head Coach, the most in NBA history. But, I have to say, I've never thought of Don Nelson as a great NBA coach. Sure, he pioneered the revolutionary point-foward position and brought Run TMC into our lives, but he's never made an NBA Finals, his winning percentage is only .565 and he was the coach who introduced the fan-killing Hack-A-Shaq during the NBA playoffs. Also, I think it speaks volumes that he was never considered for the Celtics head coaching job during the early 90's, even though you know Red would have preferred to stay in the family. Nellie's coaching career could best be summed up in one word: eh. He always had a descent enough record to be retained, but never did a spectacular enough job to lead his teams to the promised land. He was paid just enough money that it would not have made sense to fire him, meaning teams would still have to pay his salary, and also he was never bad enough to warrant getting fired mid-season. Basically, I feel like he got this record not by having the best teams or being the best coach, but by continually tricking people into giving him job after job. I guess this is what happens when NBA owners accept mediocrity.

-Yesterday I was watching the annual Par 3 Challenge at the Masters. It's a fun event that no one takes very seriously, because no one who has won the Par 3 Challenge has ever won the Masters. Basically any player with a legitimate shot at the big tournament half-asses their way around the Par 3 course on superstition alone. Mostly it's a chance for players to bring their kids or wives out with them on the course, have them caddy as well as putt for them and the fans get a lot of autographs from players. It's that last thing I want to comment on. Several players would sign golf balls and then fire them into the crowd, where normally dignified men would dive on the ground like idiots for them. There is something very disturbing about seeing guys in their mid-40's running over children to catch golf balls. Masters tickets are not cheap, so you have to figure these guys have some money in their bank accounts. Seriously, if want a signed golf ball that much hit up eBay and save some pride.

-Dear David Ortiz,
Look, buddy, I love you. Well, not really you (I don't know you that well), but I do love what you did for the Red Sox from 2003-2007. However, you were compensated pretty handsomely for your work. Not to mention, the Red Sox gave you a job when no one else in baseball was all that interested in you. Now, you had a really bad opening half to last season and the team stuck by you, despite your prolonged slump. Complaining about not getting your options picked up during Spring Training was not a good move by you. Throw in the slow start again this season and the steroid allegations that came out last year and I have to say you are really not in any position to throw temper-tantrums at the media. You lose the media, Papi, and they can/will slowly turn the fans against you (ask Manny Ramirez how that worked out). Dude, you just need to bear down and let your bat do the talking for you. That's the best way to silence all your critics - not yelling expletives at the beat writers during a pre-game interview.

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