Fob Frustration

A few months ago the key fob for my truck cracked at one of the corners, right at the spot where the key ring would usually be. It wasn't very serious as the fob is made up of two halves and only one of them was cracked so at first I tried to keep it together with Super Glue but that soon failed. (Quick Rant: Does any product have a better reputation in comparison to its actual ability to get the job done than Super Glue? Whenever I repair something with Super Glue it is destined to break a second time. I'm not trying to do anything drastic and yet the Super Glue can't hold it together. How is this stuff still regarded as the best glue on the market when it never seems to work? I bet that guy hanging by the helmet really died.) After that, I went with a product that actually lives up to its reputation - duct tape. I cut a few thin strips, then wrapped it around and around the broken part and it appeared to hold up well enough. Unfortunately that was also a temporary solution but not because of the duct tape. Before too long a crack appeared on the other half of the casing and in the middle of this week the key ring completely disintegrated. The good news is that the remote aspect of the key fob still worked so the question was whether or not I could live with just carrying the remote in my pocket without losing it. Before too long I decided not to risk it and went online to try and find a place nearby that sold replacement casings.

One of the good parts about being from Norwood, Massachusetts is that it is known for the AutoMile, a stretch of Route 1 (much longer than a mile) where just about every car dealership on the planet is represented. That means if you need any part for any car you can get it at a nearby dealership and if the dealership doesn't have it there are no shortage of automotive stores in the area to fill in the gaps. As a result I may not know much about engines I do know how to shop for car parts. It turns out the casings I would need were located in a store very close to my home and cheaper than I where I had seen them for sale online (especially when you subtract shipping costs). I went down, picked the casing up and was home in about 20 minutes. The thing is that while I was only expecting the casing, there was a new microchip in the new remote as well. I thought about reprogramming the new chip but since I had already cracked both remotes open I decided to simply swap the microchips, which took about 1 minute. So now I've got a new key fob which should last me for as long as I own the car, fresh batteries and, as an added bonus, it even has the graphics on the buttons to tell you which each one does, which I have never had before (would have come in handy a few years ago so as to not be driving around with a remote starter on my car for 3 years blissfully unaware of its existence). As car repairs go this was by far the easiest, cleanest and most successful one I have ever undertaken.

The problem arose because I got slightly greedy. Normally I avoid hoarding things I do not need multiple copies of, but I feel like when it comes to car keys you really can't have enough spare sets laying around. There are several objects you should really buy before you need them such a plunger and health insurance. Replacement car remotes aren't quite on that list but given how much time and money it takes to reset a car alarm system having a spare set around the house is a really good idea. That is why after I had swapped out the computer chips and found myself with a new, blank microchip in the old case I thought programming that chip to be able to open my truck would be a good idea. I would still have to deal with the broken key ring but if I made this key fob my back-up set the chances of losing it would be significantly lower. Unfortunately the new remote hadn't come with programming instruction so I went online to find them and it didn't take me very long to do so. If you've never tried to reset a component of your car's electronics you should know it is always a strange process. The car makers don't want you to do this by accident so the list of steps is quite long and involves doing things which would look insane to a person observing you from the outside, like turning the ignition 7 times without actually turning on the car and pressing three radio buttons at the same time. It is a little like trying to enter a cheat code for a video game, except it is real life.

Normally I am not one to mess with electronics but I felt comfortable taking this task on because I grew up playing video games so hitting buttons in a seemingly random pattern is something I should be good at. (I haven't owned a Nintendo in over a decade but I could fire up Contra right now and enter in the 30 lives, 30 continuations code with my eyes closed.) So, you can imagine my frustration when I did everything as instructed and yet couldn't get the truck to acknowledge I had completed the first step. I must have tried it half a dozen times without so much as one thing working as the internet told me it should. On roughly the 15 attempt it dawned on me that the code on the back of new remote was slightly different from the one on the old one and since I was trying to program the new chip in the old casing it finally occurred to me I should try to see if the different serial numbers came with different instructions. They did but even with that revelation I couldn't get past the first step, let alone finish programming the remote. I haven't quite given up yet because I haven't tried every sequence I found on the internet, but I am still annoyed at myself for not quitting while I was ahead. Hopefully one of these sequences will eventually work and remove this egg from my face but in the meantime I think I will go online and see if I can find a version of Contra to pass the time because at this point I think I need to remember what it feels like to enter a code and have it work.