Telling (Old Wives') Tales

The other night I went out to dinner at the 99 Restaurant. (I hadn't been to the 99 in many years for no really good reason other than the 99 Restaurant simply doesn't come to mind when discussing dinner options. Just in case you were wondering, not much has changed.) Anyway, as we were having dinner our waitress came out of the back of the kitchen to complain to the older couple in the booth across from us (she spent most of the night talking to them instead of us so clearly they looked more fun than we did) about how she had just dropped a large container of knives. Apparently this is very bad luck in the restaurant business. I had never heard this before, but according to the waitress superstition dictates you are not supposed to pick up spilled knives and your co-workers are forced to clean up after you. This upset the waitress because she was having a party later and assumed this was a bad omen. However, the woman countered by telling her not to worry because dropping silverware was actually good luck, it meant she was going to have a lot of visitors and because she had dropped knives those visitors would be men. (I too was taught this superstitious but always thought men were forks. Oh well.) All we needed to complete the circle of unfounded fear was for this all to be taking place at 11:11.

Watching this scene I couldn't help but think about where all these silly beliefs came from. They say the only difference between a lie and the truth is time, so I have a sinking suspicion that superstitions are the same way. My guess would be that the one regarding dropped knives came from a particularly lazy and butter-fingered waiter back in the day who simply got sick of cleaning up after himself and convinced the people working with him this was somehow their fault. You may think I am joking but that scenario seems downright logical compared to the idea that falling silverware signals impending visitors. If I were making one up for that I would say it was the universe's way of telling you to wash that utensil because you will need it soon. Of course the reality is that it probably has to do with keeping evil spirits away, because at the end of the day 90% of superstitions are about keeping evil spirits away (as if ghosts have nothing better to do than hang out at the 99 Restaurant). I also think that most of these old wives' tales started as one person trying to calm another person down, like the idea that rain on your wedding day was supposed to be good luck. That one is probably the product of some fast-thinking maid of honor trying to calm a hysterical bride. If only she had known her powers of persuasion she would have gone into advertising.

Now, don't get me wrong I am not making fun of these people for having odd beliefs, just interested as to which ones they choose to put faith in. I mean, this waitress honestly seemed excited about the idea that knives on the ground meant people were coming to her party. I can only assume there is a direct connection between believing in certain things and simply wanting them to be true because they would work out in your favor, But judging from the staggering number of pro athletes who believe that whether or not they step on a white line will impact their performance that day there are plenty of people who stick with traditions out a healthy fear of the consequences. I'm not above this myself - as I said I'd been hearing the one about silverware my whole life and I have more things I feel as though I have to do before a Patriots game to ensure a win than I would like to admit (and home versus away determines how long the list is). I also find it amusing how people who are superstitious regarding one thing will completely dismiss others. For example, while I honestly think whether or not my bed is made will impact how the Patriots play, I don't put any faith in things like horoscopes but the fact they remain one of the few standard features of newspapers lets you know that there are plenty of people out there who take them seriously. I guess what it really comes down to is which ones matter the most to you.

All I am saying is that while I can understand why people were easily tricked into believing these voodoo rituals a couple hundred years ago, at some point I would have thought we would have gotten passed them. With all the breakthroughs science has made in the last few centuries which have proven that there is usually an answer for everything (we just don't like some of the answers), shouldn't we have evolved beyond the fear that you shouldn't be pick up a penny if a certain side of the coin is facing upwards? (Seriously, it's money. No one ever debates whether or not to pick up a $20 bill so pick up enough pennies and you'll start making bank soon enough.) But if we're not going to come to our senses that the universe doesn't care about whether or not a bird crapped on our car, can we at least have a summit to decide the rules of these superstitions once and for all, because they change wildly depending on who you talk to. For example, are you supposed to hold your breath when you make at wish at 11:11 or is just putting your hand on the clock enough? I have no idea. While we're at it, could we get on the same page about what is good luck versus bad luck, because it seems like we can have a very healthy debate about that as well and the only thing which makes me feel sillier than sticking with these habits is getting into a heated debate about them. There is one fight in which neither side wins.