Talking The Talk

I freely admit that I have a bit of a remote control addiction. Because I have so many channels at my disposal and usually settle on a shows rather than seek one out I am always worried that I could be missing a program I would rather be watching on another channel. Even if I am being entertained by the show on my screen there is a little voice in the back of my brain telling me I should double-check a few more stations just to make sure this is the best program on at that moment. Of course, the incredible interactive guide my TV has doesn't help. Not only can I see what else is on at that moment, I can see what is going to be on for the next two weeks. It has given me a bit of TV ADD and it has made those times when I don't have control over the TV rather uncomfortable. This morning I was at the gym and like most work-out facilities, they have a couple of flat-screen TVs mounted around the main room. The gym doesn't appear to have the best cable subscription because they only get about 10 channels, but each TV is set to a different channel and the sound is off so they don't overwhelm the annoying music the gym plays instead. The thing is that each TV also points in a different direction, so it can be hard to keep watching one program as you move from machine to machine. I know I am not there to watch TV but it does seem like a rather flawed lay-out. The only good part about not being able to change every channel to ESPN or the NFL Network like I would prefer to do (they don't have the Golf Channel) and watching something I would never normally tune in to see is that at least I occasionally learn something.

At one point today I looked up from my machine and saw Steve Harvey getting a star on the Walk of Fame in Hollywood. I assumed this was just a news item from some entertainment show, but when the video ended it turns out it was a segment on Steve Harvey's talk show. I never even knew he had a daytime talk show, so imagine my surprise when Google revealed that it has apparently been on the air since 2012. I then went to a different machine to keep working out, only to look up and find Queen Latifah on that TV hosting her talk show, which I also didn't know existed (though I don't feel as bad since that show has only been on for a couple of weeks). First of all, I didn't know there was such demand for these kinds of daytime talk shows. I would assume the production costs are relatively low compared to things like soap operas which would otherwise fill that time slot and with a few exceptions they have come a long way from the days of Jerry Springer antagonizing people into fake brawls. Still, it does feel like they all seem to cover the same topics, so even if you wildly vary the hosts at some point I still think you run out of material. It could be that I am just not the intended demographic but then again, I guess the reason I was so surprised to learn these two had talk shows is because I assumed they could probably still be doing other things.

Don't get me wrong, on the surface I can see the appeal of a talk-show hosting job. It's probably really good money, the hours are more structured than your average acting gig and you don't have to be away from home for long stretches of time like you would if you were to go off and film a movie. Plus, the work is steady and I once read a statistic which said that on any given day of the 85% of the Screen Actors Guild was unemployed, so the stability must be nice. But even with those perks I always kind of thought talk shows, like game show hosting, was what you did when you couldn't get any more work as an actor. It certainly isn't like doing Shakespeare in the park. At the end of the day the job appears to be interviewing people 95% of the audience has never heard of while pretending to care about their new book or movie even though you never saw it. I always say the interviews are the worst part of any entertainment show due to the fact that most actors are uninteresting people who don't want to say anything too controversial and these shows are mostly interviews. I would get bored after a month. Even worse if the ratings are really bad it could do some permanent damage to any plan to go back and do movies because when your name is in the title you are basically asking people to tune in just to see you. A public rejection could be box office poison. I am not sure the risk is worth it, especially if you consider someone like Ellen DeGeneres, who has done a lot to make the job seem cooler than it used to be, would probably trade her current gig for a successful movie career in a heart beat. If she would ditch it what chance do the rest of these celebrities have?

I can only assume what ultimately sold these actors on these jobs is that somewhere along the line a TV executive floated the magic name out there - Oprah. After all, that woman is a billionaire and a one-woman empire who rivals any movie star in terms of fame. Much like the Dolphins still haven't found a replacement for Dan Marino, no one has been able to fill Oprah's shoes, so the thought of taking over the lucrative entertainment void her absence created has to be awfully tempting. The problem is that it took a very long time for Oprah to become the icon she is today and I just can't help but wonder if someone who would rather be doing movies is willing to wait that long for the payoff. (I can already see the big difference because one of the talk shows had a "dietitian" on who was plugging a new book. Now, if this was the Oprah show everyone in the audience would have received a copy of his book. On this show the host told people they should run out and buy a copy. Makes me think they are working with a smaller budget.) Look, if we learned anything from the "Chevy Chase Show" it was that just because a person can act it doesn't mean they will automatically be a competent talk show host. I know actors are usually paid really well to pretend they are interested in whatever money grab they care currently working on but TV viewers aren't as stupid as executives seem to think we are. Once we see that a host doesn't care about the subject we figure we shouldn't either and we tune out. That means it is up to these hosts to keep us interested and don't forget that if they were really that good of actors they wouldn't be hosting these kinds of shows in the first place.