Watch Yourself

If you have watched any amount of television lately than it is very likely that you have seen this commercial numerous times. For those of you who don't feel like clicking through, it shows the various versions of wrist communicators which have been imagined throughout television history, from "Power Rangers" and "Knight Rider" through the original "Star Trek" and all the way back to the cartoons like "Dick Tracy." They are showing all these famous images because a company is coming out with a real version of this. That is right, it is a watch which doubles as a smartphone. Now on the surface this seems like an amazing break-through. After all, it is literally something which was once seen as fantasy and even then only given to secret agents about to be available in stores to anyone who has the money to buy one and a service plan. Clearly it is a long-held wish because there are images of this going back to "The Jetsons", which was meant to represent the distant future when anything was possible at the push of a button, so on some levels you may as well tell people they will soon be able to fly cars. It is the kind of thing little kids' dreams are made of. Apparently no one told the people working on this project that it would have been just fine if they had decided to leave it as a dream.

As you may have guessed from that last line, I won't be getting in line to buy this product any time soon. That isn't a surprise because I never go crazy for new gadgets or buy them the day they come out but I kind of feel like even I they wanted to give me one for free I wouldn't be interested. The main reason I feel like this invention is going to be a failure is because this is the exact opposite of the way we should be advancing when it comes to phones. I can't stand it when people are standing in a public place and yelling into their phones to be heard by the person on the other end of the line and yet shoot you a dirty look like you are the one who wandered into their living room when you glance disapprovingly in their direction. The only people who are slightly worse to me are the ones who have the portable mini-speakers for their iPods and walk around blaring music for all the world to hear as if they were the DJ for a party no one knew was being thrown. My personal preference when it comes to cellphones would be if microphones got better to the point people can almost whisper and still be heard. Instead, this is doing the exact opposite because now we will be able to hear both ends of the conversation and the last thing we need is people speaking louder into the air, making personal issues public knowledge.

But the biggest issue I have with this is I've noticed that when you combine two ok products you end up making one product in which neither aspect works very well. I know cellphone cameras have come a long way but they will never be able to take as clear a picture as a straight camera. (And don't get me started on the trend a few years ago to have phones double as MP3 players when they would only hold around four songs before you had to buy a memory card which cost almost as much as the phone itself.) I know it is hard to screw up a watch, but I have the strangest feeling that cell phone would get the worse reception in history. Did you notice that in the comics the only thing anyone ever said into their watch/phone was "I'm on my way"? That's probably because that is all they had time to say before the call was dropped. Also, I don't know if anyone told the people who worked on this project, but talking is quickly going out of style for phones anyway. These days it is all about texting which is quieter and, shockingly, more private. Even the most oblivious cellphone user will be aware sending a text is the best way to make sure the entire train doesn't know your business. As near as I can tell this watch/phone combo doesn't have a keyboard for texting and even if it did it would be made up of the smallest keys in history. These days that is like making a car without a radio. Sure, you can do it, but don't expect a lot of sales.

I'm just worried about how far behind we seem to be with our inventions. I mean, the "Power Rangers" were the latest show to be referenced in the ad and that program hasn't been popular since the early 90s. Yet, we're just getting to their communicators now? I mean, if you really stop and think about all the crazy possible inventions that science fiction has thrown our way the watch-phone is way down the list. If this company had put out a poll asking fans to vote on what sci-fi invention they should be working on creating in real life I am willing to bet it would have been dominated by things like light sabers, flying cars or jet packs. People are so satisfied with their smartphones that I would go one step further and contend the watch/phone wouldn't even have been the top form of communication on the list. (Personally I would rather have the hologram communicator from "Star Wars".) Obviously I know that occasionally technology advances in ways that may seem inconsequential at the time but end up having a huge impact later. Also, that we need people in the world who work on inventions like this because complacency is one of the worst things which can happen to a society. I'm just saying that these people are obviously very bright and I think their talents should have been directed elsewhere, not focusing on developing a product from the future which is somehow already out-of-date.