Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I'm The One Who Gets To Choose

While I am not a civil engineer, I am an adult and therefore I understand that occasionally, when given only a certain amount of space to work with, condensing four lanes of traffic down to only two has to happen. It simply can't be helped unless you want to build a new tunnel or bridge and forcing people to merge is just more cost-effective. Now, because I have been driving successfully for the past 14 years I also know that the best way to ease this merging is to alternate cars from each lane so that everyone knows when it is their turn to go; as such no one has to wait to make sure they have the opening and it speeds the entire process up. However, because I have been driving in this state for this long I also know that rarely happens. Other people are never thrilled to leave an opening for cars to alternate and thus when you stop to let one car in, four are going to attempt to squeeze into the same area. (Make no mistake about it, I am as guilty of this as the next person.) Still, since I am such a nice guy, I usually try to let at least one car in.

The thing is, you shouldn't mistake kindness for weakness - this doesn't mean I'm about to let just anyone merge in front of me. I am not above making snap decisions about people based on three seconds of observations. For example, if I pause to give you the wave in and you don't immediately fill in the gap then, BOOM, the offer is rescinded. I hate traffic as it is, I certainly do not plan to spend it stuck behind a person who isn't paying attention to the cars around them. That is why I rarely allow anyone over the age of 70 to pull in front of me. You may say that it's ageism, but I'm just being realistic. Older drivers are never aggressive enough for my tastes and they are also far too content to cruise below the speed limit.

Still, older drivers are not the worse people to let merge in front of you. The absolute worst decision I could make (and I made it tonight, hence the post) is to let someone pull in front of me and then watch in horror as they are filled with some kind of immediate urge to 'pay it forward' and let the next car that they see pull in front of them without even a glimpse at who they are letting in or whether or not it is a good idea. They think that by showing me they are also willing to let cars merge in front of them I will assume they are some kind of humanitarian. All that actually happened was you let another car, driven by someone who is on the phone and not paying attention, get between me and a light that goes from green to yellow to red in a total of 15 seconds. Awesome. I could have been next in line, now I'm third. I immediately regretted the decision and did not let anyone get into my lane for the rest of my drive home. I hope this serves as a lesson to you all - being nice on a Massachusetts road does not help you in the end.

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