So, we've entered that glorious time of the year when all of the big movies from the tail end of last summer have finally made their way onto the paid cable channels. This couldn't happen at a better time because we're in the middle of rerun season on TV and there isn't much to watch. I'm all for getting out and enjoying a summer night, but even the most active person can stand to have a quiet night on the couch. So, with that in mind here are some quick movie reviews for when you decide to stay in one night.
-Hot Coffee This wasn't a summer blockbuster, but a documentary about tort reform. The title comes from the case when a woman sued McDonald's after being burned by their coffee, which had been served to her at a temperature of 180 degrees. At the time every hack comedian made jokes at this woman's expense about learning how to drink and we all laughed. Watching this movie you learn she suffered 3rd-degree burns and didn't ask for all that money, just to have her medical bills paid for and it was the jury members who gave her the huge settlement because they saw how awful the physical damage really was. Basically, we're all assholes for laughing at her. It then goes into all the people who were screwed by the government putting caps on how much people are allowed to sue companies for. Not going to lie, this movie has severe liberal leanings and pretty much makes you feel like the only reason Karl Rove isn't dead is because even hell doesn't want him. It's not an easy watch, but it was very dramatic.
-The Expendables Just a straight action movie with little-to-no plot. This is probably for the best because between Jet Li's broken English, Steve Austin and Randy Couture's mumblings, Jason Statham's growling British accent and the botox-induced muttering of Sly Stallone, Dolph Lundgren and Eric Roberts you wouldn't be able to follow the script anyway. Even though it was in English I could have used sub-titles. This feels like a movie that spent 20 minutes on the script and 20 hours on coordinating the stunts. I'm willing to bet that on more than one occasion, Sly (who also directed this) said to his actors, "I don't care about the dialog nearly as much as I care about you making sure this looks cool." As you can imagine, I enjoyed the hell out of it.
-Letters to Juliet Now, before you judge me too harshly, I have to say I didn't actually watch this entire movie, it just seems like the last 15 minutes are constantly on one channel or another and so I know how it ends. Also, I don't think you'll need more than two guesses as to what that ending is. But I did want to use this space to publicly state my celebrity crush on Amanda Seyfried. She's very cute. Amanda, call me sometime.
-The American A little slow to get going, I feel like there are lots of shots of scenery that could have been cut and made this movie 20 minutes shorter. But, after that it's not terrible, even if you can figure out the 'twist' about 10 minutes in. Honestly, I would have bailed if it was a lesser actor, but Clooney keeps things rolling. I do have one major sticking point, though it is not specific to this movie: can we do away with the Hollywood cliche of the 'hooker with the heart of gold'? Admittedly, I don't know any hookers (at least that I know of), but I'm still willing to paint the profession with a broad brush in saying I doubt there are that many good-hearted people who have gotten into a rough patch of life and made the decision to start sleeping with strangers for money. I think they are much more likely to get a temp job.
-It's Kind of A Funny Story... ...but it's not a funny movie. Maybe I was jumping to conclusions, but I went in expecting any movie that had Zach Galifianakis and Jim Gaffigan in it to be a comedy, not a somewhat heavy movie about teenage depression and suicide attempts. Yet, that is what I got - not really a movie with a lot of light moments. Now, this is not to say it's a bad movie, it's actually pretty good, but it is just not what I expected. If asked I would say you would probably enjoy it, but if you are looking for laughs only watch the outtakes.
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