Come Out When You're Ready

During the past week there have been all sorts of rumbling and reporting from sources like CBSSports.com that a current NFL player is gay, planning to come out and wants to continue his career. According to the reports the player isn't very worried about the reaction of his teammates, but is concerned about the abuse he would take from fans during away games. I have to say, I question just how true this is. It is not that I doubt there are gay men playing in the NFL - between the statistics and the fact several players have come out after their career was over I can pretty much guarantee that there are. What I question are the reports about the player being ready to come out. Putting stuff out there like this is a fairly easy way to bring some publicity to your website without ever having to back up your claims. No one is going to demand a name and you can always say the player changed their mind. Something like this happened back in 2001 when an editor for "Out" magazine claimed to be in a relationship with a baseball player for one of the East Coast teams and if the player didn't out himself the reporter would print his name in the next issue. (Amazingly, the magazine was in desperate need of attention at the time. What are the odds?) Anyway, no player ever came out and the magazine never named him, probably because the entire relationship was imaginary. It has made me question stories like that ever since.

The timing of this report does also feel rather convenient as the Supreme Court is hearing arguments about the defense of marriage act as well as Prop 8 in California. The discussion of gay marriage and its impact on society is a very hot-button issue right now, and trying to get some extra pageviews from people looking for news on the subject wouldn't be very hard. Also, rumors of one athlete or another being gay is nothing new. The only difference here is that for once the player is said to be considering outing himself, not the subject of rumors from a vengeful ex or the target of a blackmail scheme. I am quite proud of how most of the media has handle this report because while the rumor of a gay baseball player a decade ago lead to speculation, finger-pointing and guys like Mike Piazza famously having to hold awkward press conference to assure people it was not them, this report was met with a shrug and feeling that if it happens, fine but no one is about to launch an investigation. In fact, it has gone the other way with guys like Rob Gronkowski saying they would be accepting of a homosexual teammate. I like to think the reaction by the media is proof that we're slowly inching towards a world in which this kind of thing will no longer be news.

Then again, I have always said how impactful the first openly-gay athlete is will depend on just who the player is and at what stage of his career he is at. Guys who were fringe players coming out after they have retired doesn't do anything to advance the discussion. For this to make any type of cultural shift they need to be a franchise-level player and still have a career ahead of him, one that would make it hard for any team to release him because the media storm simply wouldn't be worth it. In some ways I think the NFL is the worst sport for a player to come out in, not because football players are neanderthals (which we will get to in a second), but because the contracts are so flimsy and football coaches don't like distractions. They will release a Rhode Scholar because they think wanting to focus on academics takes away from film study, so they will have no issues cutting a guy who the media wants to constantly ask about, thinking it is just one more minute their players won't be able to think about the upcoming game. However, the NFL may be the best stage because it is America's past time. Let's be honest here - there are plenty of openly gay players in the WNBA but no one cares because it is the WNBA. An openly-gay NFL player would put it into a lot of people's homes.

The one aspect of this story which I actually like is the part where the player isn't worried about his teammates. That shows real progress. Let's be honest, professional athletes are not usually the most open-minded of people. Many of them are raised in very conservative household (even though you know I often think the athletes who can't wait to thank God are doing it for show and not because they are actually that religious) and the culture is not usually one of tolerance. If this guy truly feels like his locker room would be accepting of him it can only be because they already know and he hasn't taken any grief for it. (It's hard to keep secrets on sports teams at that level - you just spend too much time together.) That would be a great development for someone like me who loves football but also thinks people should be allowed to marry whomever they fall in love with. Honestly, seeing guys play for my favorite team, but knowing that due to their politics I would hate being trapped by them at a party is a very strange juxtaposition (at least I'm quite familiar with it because it is also how I feel about the Catholic Church). So, I think the day where there is an openly-gay athlete playing professional sports at a high level is coming quickly, but I just don't think that day is coming this week.