Take The Bus Instead

It is well-documented that the people in my family have been given a special (though unwanted) power, which is people feel the need to tell us their entire life stories. No matter where we go, the people in line near us can not wait to turn around and tell us everything which has happened to them up to the minute when they first stepped into this very line. The more members of my family who are together at the time, the stronger the pull. We really should write biographies. Anyway, the point is people always want to talk to us and even if it turns out they don't want to tell us about how very sick their cousin's friend's room mate's cat is, they still feel compelled to check in with us, often because they need something. To some people it isn't Christmas until a certain decoration is on the tree or they bake their grandmother's famous holiday cookies. To me it isn't Christmas until a total stranger makes me stand in the same spot for 10 minutes taking down multiple boxes of the same toy because they want one whose edges haven't been crumbled. For the most part I don't mind this; I just smile, nod and try not to give them any information to work with to try and keep the conversation from picking up a new topic, because that will only serve to prolong the encounter. As Spiderman said, with great power comes great responsibility.

There is only one time when I dislike strangers talking to me and that is when they ask me for directions. Again, it is not because they often interrupt me while I am on my way to something important. It is because I have a truly terrible sense of direction and I would rather keep that information to myself for as long as possible. The only good news is that thanks to GPSs getting cheaper and more accurate, it doesn't happen as often. Still, I feel that no matter how far we come this is one of those things which will always happen. The other day I was walking down the street in Brookline when a woman pulled up and asked me how to get to Storrow Drive. Now, as often happens when someone asked me for directions I had a rough idea of where she should be go, but wasn't positive on how to get her there. It probably doesn't help that I am awful at remembering street names. So, I did what I always do in situations like this: tried my best to convey the general direction she should head without being too specific and hope that once she gets close enough to where she was trying to get to there would be a sign to point her to the exact turn she needed. Of course, it wasn't until after she drove away that I figured out which way I should have sent her.

After this encounter I started to think back to the first time this happened to me. I remember it well: I was about 12 years old, walking in downtown Norwood with two of my friends, most likely on a half-day from school. A guy at a red light rolled down his window and asked us how to get to Rt 95. When none of us knew the answer he thanked up for nothing, swore and drove away in a huff. Now, at the time we felt bad for not giving him an answer but with a little time and perspective I can now see he was the idiot in that situation. It's not just that asking someone how to get to Rt 95 in Massachusetts can get you on multiple roads (did he need actual 95 or 128/95?), but when was the last time you needed information and thought asking random pre-teens walking down the street was the best course of action? Also, demanding information from people at random is like giving people a test they didn't study for and no one likes the teacher who does that. They say the first encounters with a situation are the ones which leave the deepest impression, so I guess it should come as no surprise to learn that I have never pulled over to ask a stranger walking down the street how to get someplace. I'd rather drive around in circles.

Anyway, that little trip down memory lane got me to realize just how absurd a tradition a person in a car asking a person walking down the street for directions really is. Not only are you taking a real shot in the dark that the pedestrian is even from the area, but given how many tourists and college students are in Boston there is an above-average chance they will be less familiar with the streets than the person behind the wheel of the car. But, mostly it feels stupid because walking directions can be totally different from driving directions. Just because someone is engaged in a mode of travel it doesn't mean all travelers are created equally. Think about it - if you are on foot you can cut down alleys or walk the opposite way down a one-way street and nothing happens. You try to direct a car down those same directions and you're going to cause a massive pile-up. It just feels wrong. Directions should really be asked of someone who is at your same level, or at least operating the same machinery as you. Let me put it to you this way: you never see a pilot ask a member of the grounds crew to come up and show him how to release the parking break. If you did you would get off the plane as fast as possible, so the next time the person behind the wheel wants to ask someone on the street for directions, maybe you should think about hopping out and walking the rest of the way. Who knows, it may even be faster... other than having to stop to give people directions.