Vigilante Highway Patrol

I think the police force's most effective weapon is undercover cops (though, I'm sure if you asked them 'guns' would rank highly and occasionally come in handy). Let's be honest, what stops the average person from turning into a criminal is the fear of getting caught, even for something very minor. However, if you don't see any cops around then you are more likely to stray outside the lines. This is especially true on the roads. If people are at a red light and there is a clear "No Turn On Red" sign in front of them but also no cruisers in sight, then most people are taking the turn whenever the traffic has a break; the sign be damned. Therefore, the best way to catch people is to make them think there are no cops around even though they are. The problem is that undercover cop cars on the highway are incredibly easy to spot. No one ever has to wonder, "Gee, do you think that navy blue Crown Victoria with the super-tinted windows and extra reinforced bumper might be a Statie?" Therefore I think it is time to take the radical step of deputising average citizens and giving them the power to pull over other citizens for traffic violations. I think we would all be better drivers if in the back of your mind you thought there was a chance the old lady in the Toyota Camry could pull you over at any moment and give you a ticket for changing lanes without first signaling.

Just so we're clear, I am not advocating giving me this authority. I am very aware that if I had it I would abuse it; pulling over people who committed no legal crime, only the crime of annoying me. Perfect example: Driving down the highway today a man was in the breakdown lane to my right. He was sort of hanging right by my back corner, in a spot that was very inconvenient for me. Now, this was during the morning rush hour and he had every right to be there. However, it's the Friday before a holiday weekend, so traffic was light and the other four lanes of the highway were moving very well, so he didn't need to be in the breakdown lane. He could have been making just as good on time in any other lane. I couldn't go faster because of an 18-wheeler in front of me and I had a car close enough behind me that I couldn't slow down too much. As my exit was coming up this guy sped up enough to pull along side me, but then stopped accelerating. He then just kind of hung out along side my car, despite my blinker being on, continued along passed the off-ramp and caused me to miss my exit. I had to drive to the next exit and turn around to get to my destination. Now, legally this guy didn't do anything wrong. But, if I had a badge and the authority? $10,000 ticket and suspended license.

-So, there is a report out that former Nine Inch Nails frontman Trent Reznor will be scoring all the music for the new Facebook movie. First off, I question how interesting any movie about social networking could possibly be. But, that aside, I have to admit I've never understood why everyone is so reverent towards Reznor. You know, I enjoyed "Closer" as much as the next guy, but when I was in high school people acted as though he was the next Lennon (by the way Nowhere Boy, the new John Lennon film, is a movie I am much more interested in seeing). Back then every kid who thought they were destined for the life of a starving artist would put the tell-tale "NIN" all over their notebooks and talked about "Trent" like his music spoke to them personally. I mean, I though the music was good, but nothing that would revolutionize the industry. And by now I kind of thought we were done with synthesisers and all that jazz. Personally I just feel like this would be much bigger news if it was still 1999.