Wow, That Was Quick

When it comes to the world of pop culture and celebrities, there are very few things that end up surprising me. I am very rarely shocked at the length some people will go to bring attention to themselves. Therefore, when reality "star" Kim Kardashian and "professional" basketball player Kris Humphries announced they were getting married, I didn't put much stock in their long-term future. They hadn't known each other very long, Kris didn't make the kind of money that was going to keep a girl like Kim happy and the entire thing had the makings of a publicity stunt, right down to the fact that the engagement photos were for sale to the tabloids almost immediately after Kris proposed. But even with my lack of faith in their ability to make 'til death did them part, I was still shocked when Kim filed for divorce this morning after only 72 days of marriage.

When I wrote my massive, "30 Things I've Learned At 30" post a couple years ago one of the lessons was that couples should live together before they get married. I think it just makes sense to find out now if the other person has any particularly annoying habits, because it isn't like those habits are going to get less annoying as time goes by. Well, either Kris has some really extra annoying habits or Kim is quite easily put-out, because 72 days is not a very long time to decide you simply can't deal with someone who will not refill the Brita. I mean, Lent is only 40 days. That means last year I could stand to give up all chocolate for about half as long as these two could stand to be married to one another. Moments like this are why etiquette gives you a year to buy wedding presents.

Just to give you some perspective, the O.J. Simpson Trial lasted for 265 days. (The length of that is kind of ironic considering one of O.J.'s lawyer was Robert Kardashian.) The longest baseball game in history, staged between the Pawtucket Red Sox and Rochester Red Wings took 33 innings and was suspended in the middle, so technically it took 66 days for them to get the game in. That means by the time Kim started looking for divorce lawyers this game hadn't even restarted. But, if the Kardashians are looking for something to hang their hats on, they can take solace in the fact that I would apparently not be able to make it around the world in a hot air balloon in less than 80 days. Score one for them.

We can only hope that there are a couple of silver linings to all of this. First off, whether we like it or not, Kim Kardashian is a role model for hundreds of thousands of young, stupid, impressionable and stupid girls. Perhaps this whole debacle and the razzing Kim will take in the aftermath will teach just a few of them that it is a bad idea to legally bind yourself to someone you just met two months ago. Secondly, there is a chance that this may mark the beginning of the end for the Kardashian empire. Pop-culture lovers can take a lot in their publicity stunts - what they can't take is out-and-out fraud. By giving up so quickly on this, the Kardashians have basically admitted they were only in it for the money. While we all knew that, it is a bad PR move to shove it in our faces (you never let the audience see behind the fourth wall). Not to mention, you have to wonder if the tabloids (who are the life-blood of a reality star) may now turn on the family, sick of paying huge amounts for photos that can only run in a single issue. Biting the hand that feeds you is never a wise idea. Of course, neither is marrying a guy you've known for a month, so expecting a smart idea from these people probably makes me look like the biggest idiot of them all.