The Leftovers...

Last year I wrote about the strange phenomenon of the price of calendars being cut in half on January 1st, even though they were still good for 99% of year. Seemed to me then (as it still does) that a more gradual reduction as the year goes on would make more sense. Well, what has caught my eye this year is what appears to be a complete lack of calendar options. Again, I'm not about to go out and pay full price for something, knowing full well the exact date that it is going to dramatically drop in price. (When you are rich they call this 'insider trading'. But, if you are a normal person they just call it 'being a savvy shopper'.) And while I am fully aware that waiting comes with a drop in selection, this year it has been taken to a new level, as most stores are down to the bare minimum stock. I went into it not even feeling very particular about what I was looking for, but even with lower standards, I was not being given much to work with.

Fortunately, I lucked out and found the one remaining golf calendar in that particular bookstore because my options after that were a bit grim. As near as I can tell, there are only 6 choices left if you haven't picked up a wall calendar by now:

A non-local sports team: All the Bruins, Celtics, Red Sox and Patriots calendars are long-gone. The good news is that if you like the Jets or the Steelers, you are in luck. You may even see the occasional Mavericks calendar because they won the championship. However, if you are a fan of an even more random team like the Padres you remain squarely out of luck, which feels strangely appropriate.

A collection of pictures from an artist you've never heard of: My sister was an art major and she may be hard-pressed to name some of these people. How they got entire calendars made out of their work I will never know. I can only assume the publishers figured that shoppers will buy anyone's black-and-white photos of national parks if all the Ansel Adams ones are sold out.

Ugly dogs: Ok, at the end of the day no puppies are that ugly. But, if we're being honest with one another, wouldn't you rather look at golden retriever puppies instead of baby chiuauas? Those dogs aren't cute when they are old, so as newborns they look like rats.

Bible verses: Clearly there is a market for these. There is obviously a place for a psalm about Jesus super-imposed over a photo of a lake. I'm just saying my wall isn't that place.

Exotic locations no one want to go to: Hey, we all dream about taking vacations and a little photographic inspiration might help us save some cash to make it happen. The problem is by now all the good destinations have been bought up. After all, who wants to look at pictures from Somalia for the next 366 days?

Cartoons no one reads: I hardly ever look in the comic section anymore, but I understand a few comics have become iconic over time. However, all comics are not created equal and just because something has been around a long time does not make it funny. I mean, was there a real push for a "Zippy" calendar?

Moral of this story? You probably should have gone to your local bookstore last week.