Saturday, September 26, 2009

I Guess They're Not As Cool As Us

A couple of months ago my family had a large yard sale. Now, when we have a sale, you get some real quality for your money. We buy each other nice stuff, so a couple people were able to pay little money and still get some good stuff. Now, not being a veteran of the yard sale process, I foolishly assumed that everyone had good stuff at their family yard sale. Turns out, that is not the case at all. I rolled into a multi-family sale in Dedham today, fully expecting to find a couple specific treasures (more on that in a second). Instead, it was mostly just other people's crap. The 4 minutes that it took me to cruise through this thing was enough time for me to remember why I don't ever go to yard sales.

The other reason I never go to yard sales is because of the way that I shop, which is as if I'm on a scavenger hunt. There is no wandering aimlessly, even when I'm not looking for anything specific. If I don't see what I want, I'm gone, and that is not the way to go through a yard sale. Those things are complete crapshoots and you have to go in with no agenda and just be surprised if there is good stuff. (Of course, I know this now. Would have been nice to know a few hours ago.) A couple weeks ago I went golfing with my buddy Josh who was using brand new clubs in a new bag. Now, there is a commandment that says 'Thou Shalt Not Covet Your Neighbor's Wife.' That's fair, but there is nothing in there about his golf equipment. Because of that I'm in the market for a new bag, but at the same time I'm still not very good and so I'm not looking to spend a lot. That's why I thought a yard sale would be a place to get a good deal. And, again, going off my family's yard sale I assumed that there would be a plethora of golf equipment, cause my uncle supplied some and I thought a multi-family yard sale would mean an actual selection. Alas, it did not. So, I think this was my first and my last yard sale excursion.

-You know, there is a reason I don't sing anywhere but the shower. This is pretty much what I think would go down should I try karaoke again. What happened to the good old days when everyone was polite to your face, but then made snide comments once you were off stage? Apparently, this was the first time that this woman tried karaoke. I'm willing to go out on a limb and also say it will be her last. She must have been terrible. Also, my favorite part of the story is collection of women's mug shots, where the two women wearing purple look confused as to what the hell the camera is going to do.

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